I didn't catch what area you live in (maybe it wasn't mentioned), but you may want to stick with quality independents in the future. Having said that, I have used agencies a few times, and had good success, but they were well reviewed agencies.
I will bring flowers, but generally after I've seen a lady a few times. Looking at it as a romantic interlude is not a bad way to approach things, as long as the lady is willing to play along. Plus "most" ladies really enjoy getting flowers or a small gift. You will find that while variety is nice, a well established regular relationship with a provider pays handsomely as well. MfSD.
Just had my very first date with a pro last night. It was with a girl from a very highly rated agency. I will post the review later. But here are some issues that are better discussed here. First, I believe I was a victim of either phony reviews or inflated reviews. She is new to that agency, and had only two reviews, but they both were high, 9 or 10, and the GFE was definitely part of the deal. Well, for me it was more like I was the provider and she was the client. I tried to sweet talk, touch, kiss, and fondle my way into some kind of sexy mood with her, but she was all painfully shy, all business, but in a kind of scared, apologetic way. Sure, I know what YMMV means. I already took that into account. But I'm not fat or balding or smelly (my best friends won't tell me, right?) I was actually impressed with my own ability to make the best of a bad situation. As for her looks... she definitely had beautiful D cup breasts, as advertised, the rest was a 6 or 7, not the "10" somebody gave her.
Now I know a couple of you are already shaking your heads, ready to pounce on me for not going with a girl who has 10 or 20 excellent reviews. I plead guilty as charged, so save the wisecracks, OK? But my point is that the agency is training this girl at my expense and I don't think that's right. Either that or they are just using her until she gets enough bad reviews that they dump her. Also a bad sign. They must have posted or begged for those two great reviews just to jumpstart her training session. And while I'm on the subject, the room was in a dirt-cheap beach motel with about as much atmosphere as a Fort Lauderdale Frat party the morning after. Of course my date was apologetic, worried I was unhappy, which only made me more unhappy, if you know what I mean. The pathetic part is that I spent so long psyching myself up to do this, even bought roses and champagne, shaved my chin closer than I though possible. And to top it off, the appointment was pushed from 6 to 7 and then from 7 to 7:30, and when I called all day trying to get directions, the machine wouldn't accept messages because the "mailbox was full".
But guess what. I am now wiser and more determined than ever to find a quality provider. No dates with women who won't show me their faces. No dates with women without lots of high scores. And I don't think I will work with any agency again. The cell phone ringing near the end of the hour is just too much. And spare me the notion of a ringing cellphone as some kind of safety check. The girl can make the call herself and that way the timing is more discrete. Agencies remind me of car dealerships, so damned determined to make you happy when really you just want efficiency and honesty, right? How about a new category for the review... Provider shows face in picture, Yes / NO. I would filter on the yes's.
Bottom line... all the talk about "bait and switch", photos with no faces, etc... I've decided that without a clear photo of the woman's face, I am assuming she has something to hide, even though I know very well that there are legitimate reasons to hide a face, like for women who have a "regular" life on the side. OK, those women won't get my business, that's all. I want the real thing and only the real thing (or the really well- faked real thing if the real thing is unavailable). And if possible, I am going to try to book less expensive preliminary "lunch dates" so I can hear what comes out of the mouth of the woman when she talks. Yes, some providers will agree to it. Ever hear that the brain is the biggest sex organ we have? Yeah, well, I want to know my partner has one that works reasonably well before I trust her to spend my $$$$ well. It takes a certain self knowledge and some worldy knowledge to light my fire, and I'm not going to settle for less. It took me quite a bit of effort to earn that $$$$!!
By the way... Many thanks to all who advised me about the emotional risks of the hobby. I didn't post a reply to all participants, but let me say here how much I enjoyed your thoughts and advice.
I didn't catch what area you live in (maybe it wasn't mentioned), but you may want to stick with quality independents in the future. Having said that, I have used agencies a few times, and had good success, but they were well reviewed agencies.
I will bring flowers, but generally after I've seen a lady a few times. Looking at it as a romantic interlude is not a bad way to approach things, as long as the lady is willing to play along. Plus "most" ladies really enjoy getting flowers or a small gift. You will find that while variety is nice, a well established regular relationship with a provider pays handsomely as well. MfSD.
research. There are lots of embellishments in web ads and reviews. Even with clear photos, they could be old or shot with clever angles to hide the faults.
Thanks for submitting a review. Please continue to do so even for well reviewed ladies as things can change. Good reviews will reassure the consistencies of services and bad reviews will give warnings about new changes. Both are badly needed.
Wish you have many wonderful encounters in the future.
praiaman, i read your post with interest and empathy. there are many things going on here, i will try to hit the high points.
ok, you're first experience was disappointing. but don't line up all the facts to justify it. i once tried to schedule with a very highly rated fbsm in my area, and her mailbox was full as i was trying to do the callbacks. but she got back to me anyway, we met, we had a luverly time. and someday you may meet a minx in a ratty beach motel room and have the naughtiest, raunchiest film noir evening of your life.
you're new in. give it time. it's fine if you want to avoid agencies, or only stick with face photos, but give yourself a couple of other experiences before you draw your personal bright lines. all i can say is, you will learn to understand things you don't know you don't understand, and things you don't think matter one way or the other. you will learn how to swim.
face in the photo? hey, famous ROB claudia puts her face in the photo. that means zilch. voice on the phone, demeanor when you first come in the door? that says it all, in my experience. didn't like her face? well, what about her spirit, what kind of lady was she? when a woman opens her body to me without reservation, with complete involvement -- to me, nothing is lovelier.
the fact that you requested info on emotional risks, then did all your research, then still got burned (in your eyes) ... that's one of the big lessons i learned. you have to feel your way. you can't make it a foregone conclusion and then march without reviewing new facts. each step in the encounter offers more clues for your *judgment*, which always has to be operating full throttle, at least until your pants come off.
finally, i'm sorry, it's the romantic in me, but i feel a great sense of happiness thinking of you two, she's a newbie, you're a newbie, out there by the beach, the 8pm sunset lingering in the air, champagne and flowers and a lot of awkward interactions ... could tennessee williams come up with anything more poignant? and you treated her with compassion, she tried to treat you with respect -- who knows but her last client slapped her around a little bit, or complained about her looks?
and on that note: i've enjoyed my many minx episodes for all the powerful zen moments i get from them. i was driving to see one very hot lady, and fantasizing to myself about how much i trusted her and how professional she was and all, and then *wham*, i discover she's still with the previous client! (see a previous topic.) now, end of story, i saw that episode as a little lesson to myself about myself, a real koan. how about you? could this first encounter be a hint that maybe you're trying to make more of a random meeting for sex than it's humane for you to do? the fact that you prepped up with champagne and flowers implies to me that you went into this with a pretty high sense of your own purpose ... and expectations will get you, every time.
anyway -- get back in there, schedule with a "more experienced" minx, and have yourself a great time.
p.s. - i don't know if "$$$$" means "beaucoup bucks" or, in the code used around here, "$400". if the latter, i'd start with the price point issue -- regions vary, but you probably paid too much, i don't care what you were promised, or expected.
-- Modified on 8/19/2002 6:16:40 PM
Thanks for the encouragement. I only wish it had been a Tennessee Williams script. In fact I tried to help her with her lines, but no, she never saw the play. It got kind of ridiculous after a while. I felt like the High School Girls Volleyball coach making it with a very reluctant, nervous team member who thought she knew what she was doing. To add insult to injury, I just found this girl on an indy site for $100 less than I paid! Not to worry. I really don't feel that "burned". Yeah, I had expectations. But I really am looking for someone who can pretend to be my long lost lover for one hour. The TER reviews help me know this is possible, just rare. I'll keep looking.
Again, thanks for your feedback. I appreciate it.
I venture that he lives in South Florida. The very highly rated agency could be one of the two I have in mind. I am looking forward for his review to see whether I guess right or not.
If you look a little further down on this page you'll find a thread about how people use TER. There are some very good posts showing how we have this very rich resource, and how to get the most from it. As a rule, because of past experiences, I stay away from agencies. There are so many QUALITY Independent providers all over this country that it's generally not necessary to hope that the agency sends the right girl,..... etc. Yes there are reasons some girls don't show their faces, and in the case of independents they're probably legit, as in the case of many agency girls, but in many cases that "bait and switch" thing may go on. Follow the advise of these good guys here and you'll enjoy this hobby, and just write experience #1 off as just that, an experience. Happy hunting!