1.) He/She is suddently happy all the time no matter how shitty you treat them.
2.) He/She has a new rash and doesn't seem to care you know.
3.) He is buying large quantities of Viagra/Cialis/Levitra yet you never have sex and his "favorite" sock is not crusty at all.
4.) She suddenly goes on birth control even though you have a vasectomy or he is suddenly purchasing condoms by the case even though you have your tubes tied.
5.) You recently got an STD from your spouse.
6.) Your local hotels all send him/her frequent visitor coupons and couples getaway packages.
7.) Her/His new secretary is 22, dumb as a post, and yet receives "performance" bonuses on a regular basis.
8.) She no longer excuses herself to the laundry room everytime the washing machine starts a spin cycle.
9.) He/She suddenly starts to "golf" everyday...even in the rain, sleet, or snow.
10.) Your kid's allowance has quadrupled since they ran into your spouse at the movies....where he/she was all alone and not making out at all...
11.) Your spouse suddenly has very little interest in sex with you, but when it does happen, you find there has been a significant improvement in skills, flexibility, and performance. Not to mention a whole new roster of moves...and tools...
Perfume and lipstick on clothes, cheek, and uh, other places.
Unexplained absenses - answer buy a boat. It will explain everything, long absenses, lack of money, it's perfect plus give you a place to play.
Seriously - the hobby phone. Here's what your SO will say if she finds it. "Honey why do you have an extra phone in your car? And Gee, what are all these #'s... maybe I should call them?"
Have fun, play safe, and DON'T get caught! Especially not with me!
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