Here is the truth, although some hobbyists would beg to differ, us providers are still.... women. We do not become aliens by entering this profession.
All women love little presents or gifts- as long as they strike us sentimentally or are something we truly like/love. If the girl has something on her website that clarifies her particular tastes or desires, and you feel inspired to "make her feel special"- then by all means DO SO. You would be surprised how a tiny gift that is personalized (to her tastes) shows her that you were thinking about her and that she is INDEED special to you. She will most likely be over-joyed that you were so thoughtful & you will reap the wards via her enthusiasm... After all, that is what you are aiming for, correct? If you get her something she specifically lists, and she doesn't act over-joyed, fire her ungrateful a$$. No, seriously. Not being a c*nt here, but being honest. As far as giftcards go, (example: me I love Dunkins latte's, a fellow brought me a gift card on top of my donation, maybe only $20 but hey, I was so shocked & damn near giddy, it may as well have been a diamond ring! ha!) as long as it's a giftcard she wants to use, then you should be fine. She can then use it when it is convenient for her- no biggie but definitely still thoughtful!
So I've only had the pleasure of seeing two different providers, but I can't see anyone topping the second one I saw so I will probably just go to her from now on. I'm trying to work some things out with giving a gift. I know it's not expected, but do you think I should bring a gift? If you see someone on a regular basis do any of you bring gifts?
She of course has put things down on her website of what she likes, but don't flowers seem a little cliche'? And I don't drink wine so I would feel weird when we couldn't share some, and jewerly is expensive. What about gift cards? Gift cards just seem like something I would give my relatives. I have and always will tip fairly good, so is that usually enough? The reason I'm asking is because I really want her to know that she's appreciated but I'm a little awkward sociallably.
I would ask her what Gifts she would like. I gave my current Girl a Gift after I knew her for a while. Giving her a Gift after seeing her only a few times might seem like a nice idea. But it may make her a bit uncomfortable. The Gift I gave my Girl? I bought her a Sterling Silver Necklace with a Pendant for her Birthday. She loved it.
As for what she wants, just go ahead and get the things she asks for on her site. That would show her that you are paying attention to her site, and gals like that idea very much.
By the way, not all jewelry is that expensive. You can find lots of nice pieces in the $50 - $100 range at various shops that have nice gifts. Take note of the colors of the clothes she wears then find semi-precious stones that complement those colors. Bracelets and pendants are the best choices. The nice thing about jewelry is that it is small and easily brought to her discreetly. Also it will last forever and she'll think of you when ever she wears it.
Don't confuse a gift with a tip. A tip is a voluntary upping of her rate to show that you feel she is worth even more than she charged. A gift is given freely as an expression of friendship and is not a part of her remuneration.
only makes sense if the lady also is an equal partner in the gift giving (in whatever form that may be). A real friendship would not be one-sided in that regard. Unless you have that mutual giving, I think tips and gifts are essentially the same - "I appreciate you, I want to make you happy, I want to impress you..." These would be the potential meanings. The mutual giving between true friends I think is on a different level. Just my opinion...
an expression of the type of person you are (giving type), and the donee is not, that does not necessarily negate the donor's intention, which is the important thing.
Then there is the question of the financial situations of the parties, etc.
In general I guess life works better when person's of similar attitude connect up, but, as with many things in life, that is not always the case.
Actually I bring a gift frquently on my first visit..
For my ATF. I always bring her firewood.. a bit odd but she loves a fire and she needs it. and it has become an inside joke.. this winter I texted her that I was bringing wood to her.. she replied that I better bring wood as she was looking forward to a great time.. so now, I always stop and pick up 2 or 3 of those prepackaged wood bundles for her.. and Itest her that I am on my way... "with wood"..
another girl said that she likes an amazon.com gift card on her web site so I got that for her when I arrived at my first date with her..
I choose a nice candle for Fav gals... I have brought nice sugar free candy for a gal who is diabetic... I used to bring a meal to share with a Fav... VS or Fredric's or another quality shop gift card.
I know this point of view wont be popular on the Newbie board which is exactly why some of the newbies who post/lurk here need to see it.
You are already paying an exorbitant fee for her time. Most likely somewhere between $$$ and $$$$$ an hour. YOU are the customer, the gal is the business. Many guys here forget that.
Would you get your attorney, accountant or doctor a gift OR a tip? The thought of it is ludicrous, right?
When you think about why that is the case, apply the same logic to p4p.
You might get 30 seconds of joy and that pat on the head and maybe even a thank you email when you get home. Is that really worth the $100 or more that you def DONT have to pay to an already overpriced commodity?
The choice, of course, is yours but my advice is to keep that extra dough in your pocket. There is absolutely never any need to give more than the high price the girl is already asking for her service
I know this point of view wont be popular on the Newbie board which is exactly why some of the newbies who post/lurk here need to see it.
You are already paying an exorbitant fee for her time. Most likely somewhere between $$$ and $$$$$ an hour. YOU are the customer, the gal is the business. Many guys here forget that.
Would you get your attorney, accountant or doctor a gift OR a tip? The thought of it is ludicrous, right?
When you think about why that is the case, apply the same logic to p4p.
You might get 30 seconds of joy and that pat on the head and maybe even a thank you email when you get home. Is that really worth the $100 or more that you def DONT have to pay to an already overpriced commodity?
The choice, of course, is yours but my advice is to keep that extra dough in your pocket. There is absolutely never any need to give more than the high price the girl is already asking for her service.
Most people don't have Sex with their Attorney, Acountant, or Doctor. (although there have been a few cases where this has happened.)
I'm not sure how much you're paying to see the Providers you're seeing. The one I'm seeing is very reasonably priced. Well to me anyway. She takes great care of me. So I tip her with a little extra Cash. She is so thankful to me when I tip her. On her Birthday I bought her a Sterling Silver Necklace with a Silver Pendant. I didn't spend alot on it. Oh my God her Reaction was as if I spent 500 on her Gift. She was so thankful and gave me a hug when I gave it to her.
Should I expect her to give me a Gift? Absolutely NOT! She's such a Sweetheart and so Adorable. Having Sex with her at a reasonable price is Gift enough for me.
...season, and to celebrate birthdays. I am a baker, and I usually give home made goodies as Christmas gifts. If it is a gentleman I see often, he will receive a more tangible gift. For birthdays, I usually provide a cupcake with candle at the end of our date. Again, if it a gentleman I see often, he will receive more.
As for my lawyer, he always receives a gift card to his favorite restaurant and bottle of wine at Christmas. My physicians office, dental office, personal trainer, priest, etc., all receive gifts from me at Christmas, and sometimes for no reason at all. I just brought Dunkin Donuts to the office where I rent my cars at, and they were thrilled. Something this simple, keeps the upgrades coming my way!
Gifts do not have to be large, or expensive. Even something as simple as choosing a card to enclose the gift, instead of "the white envelope" can be a nice gesture.
Hugs and Kisses, Kelly PS: I have never had an intimate relationship with my lawyer, ohysician, priest, etc.
Well Jack, that helps explain why ladies go to great lengths to avoid you.
Posted By: JackDunphy
I know this point of view wont be popular on the Newbie board which is exactly why some of the newbies who post/lurk here need to see it.
You are already paying an exorbitant fee for her time. Most likely somewhere between $$$ and $$$$$ an hour. YOU are the customer, the gal is the business. Many guys here forget that.
Would you get your attorney, accountant or doctor a gift OR a tip? The thought of it is ludicrous, right?
When you think about why that is the case, apply the same logic to p4p.
You might get 30 seconds of joy and that pat on the head and maybe even a thank you email when you get home. Is that really worth the $100 or more that you def DONT have to pay to an already overpriced commodity?
The choice, of course, is yours but my advice is to keep that extra dough in your pocket. There is absolutely never any need to give more than the high price the girl is already asking for her service.
Well Jack, that helps explain why ladies go to great lengths to avoid you.
Posted By: JackDunphy
I know this point of view wont be popular on the Newbie board which is exactly why some of the newbies who post/lurk here need to see it.
You are already paying an exorbitant fee for her time. Most likely somewhere between $$$ and $$$$$ an hour. YOU are the customer, the gal is the business. Many guys here forget that.
Would you get your attorney, accountant or doctor a gift OR a tip? The thought of it is ludicrous, right?
When you think about why that is the case, apply the same logic to p4p.
You might get 30 seconds of joy and that pat on the head and maybe even a thank you email when you get home. Is that really worth the $100 or more that you def DONT have to pay to an already overpriced commodity?
The choice, of course, is yours but my advice is to keep that extra dough in your pocket. There is absolutely never any need to give more than the high price the girl is already asking for her service.
How do you know what her fee is? You throw words like "exorbitant" "high priced" around quite freely
30 seconds of joy, really? I don't know who did a number on you when you first started out, obviously at least one lady did, but please don't take it out on every lady here. A couple of bad apples don't spoil the whole bunch.
This "job" is a tad more intimate than the professions you listed.
But yes you are certainly entitled to your opinion though. You just sound jaded and for that I really feel for you, and I'm not being sarcastic.
But I do have to say that some women get spoiled by the extra attention and gifts and that is not attractive at any age.
I look on her website. Not sure the point there Steph but whatevs.
And yes, many girls are "high priced"? You don't think $$$-$$$$$ an hour is a high price for a service? Really?
Only point of my OP was to tell newer guys they shouldn't have to feel like gift giving or tipping is required but with some of the blowback from you, Heather, etc you seem to be saying it is.
If thats your point, no problem, I just have a different take.
Still not sure why you took "offense" to my post, but it's your right.
Some girls don't charge $$$$$- or even $$$, what about $.$? LMAO
Hey out here in the sticks, it is what is it is.
Just saying, I was gifted a Dunkin Donuts card & a small bottle of perfume this week (I love latte's and my smell good! I had listed on my p411 account.) Both gifts cost less than $25 I am sure, but it was the thought that counts!!
I made sure to rock BOTH of their worlds, extra good! It made me feel special, so I thought I would return the favor!
Not every hooker is a greedy b*tch! AND not every hooker is "over-pricing" their commodity. LOL
...The others have a point too. Your OP sounds to me like you think gifts are an expected or required part of the process. They are not. Give her a gift if you want to. All the ladies that replied say it's a nice thing to do and they appreciate it. Many guys feel as Jack does. Many feel as swimtrekr. It's up to you. Don't feel obligated. I have taken a gift to providers I see regularly. Sometimes I place the money in a card as Kelly suggested. I do it because I choose to. It's never expensive. It's simple. Their favorite candy or a Starbucks card is often all it is. I want to show appreciation. But I've never received lower quality service when I didn't bring a gift.
The argument that you don't gift your lawyer etc doesn't hold water because some people do at special times of the year. They don't do it at every appointment though.
Something to consider is why are you giving it. If you're showing appreciation good, if to curry favor not so good.
Whatever you do, do it for your reasons. The same applies for tipping.
...it really is up to the individual, and with me, it truly is the thought that counts.
If a gentleman exits the Metro in DC, and sees that the street vendor is selling roses for $5.00 a bunch, and he buys one for me, that is so thoughtful.
Well Jack...Actually, I am referring to your attitude. Not so much the gift giving. But you know this given the frequency of rejections. It's no secret w anyone. Enjo
Like I said, you're past actions w *numerous* ladies as well as your attitude is. Lets be real dfking, your attitude is undesirable at best. Learn from it or her help. Way too many ladies hate you. Got it
Personally, i'd agree with the view that gifts and tipping are completely voluntary and I give them in extraordinary circumstances...then again, I also don't take advantage of discounts.
They seem more important to small market (ie not big city) providers as one could tell by the providers arguing here.
Posted By: xyz23
...The others have a point too. Your OP sounds to me like you think gifts are an expected or required part of the process. They are not. Give her a gift if you want to. All the ladies that replied say it's a nice thing to do and they appreciate it. Many guys feel as Jack does. Many feel as swimtrekr. It's up to you. Don't feel obligated. I have taken a gift to providers I see regularly. Sometimes I place the money in a card as Kelly suggested. I do it because I choose to. It's never expensive. It's simple. Their favorite candy or a Starbucks card is often all it is. I want to show appreciation. But I've never received lower quality service when I didn't bring a gift.
The argument that you don't gift your lawyer etc doesn't hold water because some people do at special times of the year. They don't do it at every appointment though.
Something to consider is why are you giving it. If you're showing appreciation good, if to curry favor not so good.
Whatever you do, do it for your reasons. The same applies for tipping.
This seems to be a sensitive subject . Do gifts make me feel special? Yes. I got 2 gift cards last night, one for Macy's and one for Ruth's Chris Steak House. Do I treat a gentleman like crap if they don't bring anything extra? Hell no!
It truly is EXTRA. Do I show my appreciation? Of course I do! To not express how I feel if someone goes out of his way for me would be RUDE. And treating someone who shows up, drops the donation, is clean, treats me well, respects my boundaries, but doesn't have anything extra would be RUDE and bad business on my part.
There are a lot of ladies that a gentleman could choose. He chose me and I always let him know I appreciate that big time.
So to the OP, if you want to do it, that doesn't make you a mangina. Now if you continue to give extras to a lady you are paying who acts like it's no big deal, then shame on you. And I'm not pointing a finger at you, just make sure YOU are being appreciated for what you do for her.
I've given gifts to some my gentlemen friends here, birthdays, or just because. If a man drops a big chunk of change on me or is especially wonderful to spend time with or I see him often, there's a good chance I'll do something nice whether it's an actual gift, or gifting some extra time, I'll do it, because: 1. I want to. 2. It's good business. I always thank any gentleman I see that I have a good experience with, whether it's a thank you email. ecard, I'll let him know it's very much appreciated.
All in all, do what you want get something you know she'll like and for me I love gift cards and consider them a very nice gesture, as well as more personal things from gentlemen that know me pretty well. A gift card is always a safe choice. If you already tip though, keep it modest.
For me, just like my website says I don't expect anything extra. YES it's very much appreciated, but I'm not going to get use to it or take it for granted, or treat someone to doesn't like crap or less.
It doesn't hurt to be Nice to these Ladies. They go to alot of Trouble to please us guys. I'm so Dam Lucky to have met the Provider I'm seeing. I've been seeing her for well over a year. And only her. Every time I see her it's like seeing her for the very first time. She's so Sweet and so darn Adorable. I don't mind buying a gift for her every now and then. She never ever asks me to buy her a gift. I buy it on my own choice.
I would say that you need to not let your anxiety or feelings of uncertainty make decisions for you, and I think they might be...
Do not give a woman a gift so she will like you.
Do not give a woman a gift for having sex with you.
Do not give a woman a gift for taking money to have sex with you.
Do not tip people who make +$250/hr.
There is no woman you will not sexually get bored with.
There will always be women who you want to have sex with who will take your money....
The last was the hardest for me to internalize but if you have the money they will come (and pretend to cum). That is just the way it is, even if you don't tip or give gifts...
EXTRAS *IF* a man feels inclined, should have to do with hat kind of experiences he has with this lady. My "job" is to try to make a client feel like a million bucks, on a off day a half a million bucks. From the moment I meet him to when we say until we meet again and part ways.
Any gift should never be related to a lady's rate IMO!
I've brought small tokens to set a nice mood and hopefully bring a smile to a lady's face. But, I kind of agree with the principle that the more one makes, the less you'd expect tips and gifts. I do give very generous tips to waiters/waitresses, my regular MT, and others in the service industry. But because the hourly rates in this biz are amongst the highest around anywhere, providing something of monetary value as a tip or gift just doesn't seem quite as appropriate as in the aforementioned instances to me. Since significant value has already been provided, I'd rather focus on a small token just to show thoughtfulness. More importantly, I'm going to be a great guy and treat you very well and with the utmost respect when we are together. But hey, people can do whatever makes them happy in this hobby, and they should. It's all good.
Here is the truth, although some hobbyists would beg to differ, us providers are still.... women. We do not become aliens by entering this profession.
All women love little presents or gifts- as long as they strike us sentimentally or are something we truly like/love. If the girl has something on her website that clarifies her particular tastes or desires, and you feel inspired to "make her feel special"- then by all means DO SO. You would be surprised how a tiny gift that is personalized (to her tastes) shows her that you were thinking about her and that she is INDEED special to you. She will most likely be over-joyed that you were so thoughtful & you will reap the wards via her enthusiasm... After all, that is what you are aiming for, correct? If you get her something she specifically lists, and she doesn't act over-joyed, fire her ungrateful a$$. No, seriously. Not being a c*nt here, but being honest.
As far as giftcards go, (example: me I love Dunkins latte's, a fellow brought me a gift card on top of my donation, maybe only $20 but hey, I was so shocked & damn near giddy, it may as well have been a diamond ring! ha!) as long as it's a giftcard she wants to use, then you should be fine. She can then use it when it is convenient for her- no biggie but definitely still thoughtful!
I truly am not a stalker but your first line touched a nerve with me, in a good way. No matter what people are doing or how society at large views such activity and people, when people are viewed as less than human it opens the door to all kind of bad things. (sorry for the run on sentence).
I truly question the mental stability of these so called men that see escorts, and view them as lesser beings for some reason. I think they have the ability to be very dangerous given the political power to do so.
I enjoy your post. Keep having fun over on your side of the state.
Never Ever give a Gift to a Provider in conjunction or in lew of Payment. A Gift is to show your Appreciation of her efforts to please you. Full payment should always be made.
A related story;
A few weeks a go the Provider I'm seeing told me that one of her long time Reg (she's known him alot longer than me) tried paying her with a Gift Card to a major Big Box Retailer. He had no Cash and didn't inform her of that point when he made the appointment. She was so upset and didn't go through with the session. She told him to leave. What a total Moron.
I may gift before a session in the future but have not yet. As long as you realize and express that you are not crossing the line into true romance, do what makes you feel good. Like others have said, no woman worth her salt will bash you for spoiling her. If her birthday is known an "E" card to her email. An "E" gift card to her email to one of the stores on her site "just because". This is YOUR fantasy, not mine or anyone else's. As long as you both know you are not looking for your next ex wife or girl friend, live it like you want.
As my finances allow I will show the ultimate appreciation, book again and again. That is me, you have to decide for yourself, weigh others advice but it is ultimately on you.
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its such a sweet gesture
