Christ almighty lol, it's just sex, do you guys honestly think about it this hard?
So many questions in life. This is my first on this forum, or any like it, although i have lurked many a few in my day, both here and abroad, as this hobby and its network seems to be as old and widespread as the profession on which it feeds.
I have clearly enjoyed a few experiences, both good and bad, but overall satisfying enough to be seriously considering. The basic question is, do I want to actually commit to this and make the decision to cross the barrier over certain misgivings I have about the whole thing and rationalize them to bits...
First. The hygiene aspect of it all. Clearly providers and hobbyists alike try our best to keep it safe, but the risk cannot be ignored. And for me, is paramount, and always puts a damper on the experience.
I don't really know what to say about this, other than to remember and seriously try my best to go through with everything as safe as possible.
Second. The danger of falling into a routine/patten of (and i'm sorry if this incites negative backlash, so please take with a grain of salt) convenient self-gratification, and reckless pursuit of our base and carnal desires and animal instincts.
In terms of the challenge to get out and pursue our fate to the the best of our abilities rather than having a fallback that keeps you from being bound to pushing yourself over the edge and sharpening your game with each (mis)step.
Third. Does it mean, entail and eventually equivocate to something that (it) becomes a part of us that we can't let go of? And, eventually, how does this constantly lurking surreptitious and guilty pleasure fit in with the inverse: "normal" society?
Well, yes. And, no, it doesn't fit in. But how does one deal with reconciling this? Incidentally, it is indeed part of the fun.
I guess I have more musings rummaging about in the dome but lest this end up a novel post, I venture to leave it heret for the time-being.
perhaps you do not want to take the plunge. No one on the TER boards is advocating hobbying as a pursuit. This is simply a meeting place for people who enjoy it.
If you are happy with the sexual outlets in your life, I don't see why you would risk the things you talked about. Personally, I enjoy "the reckless pursuit of base and carnal desires." Makes me happy. But it's up to each individual to make the choice for himself.
I don't mean this in a negative way but honestly, It's just sex. Many of your concerns are valid but they are no less of an issue with civvie dating than they are with seeing an escort.
Honestly, if you can't lighten up a bit and enjoy the moment for what it is you won't have much fun in the hobby.
Why put your self through so much angst? It seems like you would be better off not doing this. Seeing providers is not for everyone.
You sound like a religious person who want to say negative things about the hobby behind the guise of wanting to get into the hobby.
Sounds like he cut and paste his pastor's sermon on the "sins of the flesh"..no disrespect to the alias used on these boards
I was thinking the same thing. It sounded more like he was giving the rest of us a lecture than asking for advice. Oh well, different strokes and all that stuff....
Good thing I don't have a single bit of guilt myself where it comes to the hobby. I am single and not cheating on anybody. What could possibly be wrong with two consenting adults enjoying themselves?
It has become a part of me, and I like it that way. Also, no, it doesn't fit in very well with society but I knew that before I got in.
I've found a way to make it work, nevertheless.
and not everyone is suited for the experience. All of the replies above are valid ... and the choice to indulge is an individual one. If you become fixed on all of the "pitfalls" and ask someone to talk you into accepting them when you really don't accept it yourself, there's no way you'll enjoy it. As one above said, it's sex. As another said, there's not a lot of difference from dating in the civie world.
"Normal" society, as you put it, may appear to be the mainstream of America, but why? What is normal for one is abnormal for another. We are all individuals making individual decisions. If you have so many reservations, perhaps this is not for you. IMHO, no one here can convince you it's right or wrong, or help you justify what you should or should not do. Those here obviously are involved in the hobby in one form or another, so it's safe to say hobbying is alive and well. But, it's not for everyone. Read the posts, study the provider profiles, screen carefully (and be prepared to be screened), and make your decision. Good luck.
Christ almighty lol, it's just sex, do you guys honestly think about it this hard?
but we do think about it a lot, we just don't obsess over it. I actually enjoy thinking about it. I enjoy having it more though. lol
Some people should not hobby, the OP is definitely one of them.
As a newbie myself I did/do think about it deeper than I should. But I also feel that's because its new to me. Everyone who is interested in hobbying might not be a just sex kind of person. Some might use hobbying as a venue to experience things they feel they won't in the "normal" world. Imo if your thinking this hard on it stop lurking for awhile and see if you get the urge to come back. If that happens satisfy your curiousity and be done with it. Enjoy it and continue or don't and stop...very simple.
I am totally a newbie as I claimed. I did not take the plunge yet. But here are the positive side of this hobby as it happens to me.
1). I stopped watching porn. I used to watch porn a lot, and i stopped excessive masturbating. Geez. I don't even know how I got rid of those things. lol
2). I do exercise more often than before, cause I want to keep good shape to impress ladies. lol
3). I feel happy when i think about the possibilities of sex freedom. Am I too shallow? lmao.
Anyhow, as you can see, i have not started the hobby yet, but I keep improving myself to be ready for more sex pleasure.
Is that a good thing or bad? lol I don't know. I really don't. Ladies, please tell me.
in life have two choices. (1) Have an affair and (2) see a pro. Both choices have similar risks, as you call it. Spending time with a pro is drama free; we pay them to leave after a certain amount of time.
Easy choice for me--(2).
Hygiene. I mean, jeez all that sweating and stuff. Ick.
Falling into a pattern. Cardio today; weights tomorrow. Oh, the boredom of it all.
Lurking. Sometimes I want to sneak into the gym when I should be working. OK, that's a COMPLETE lie, but you get my point, or at least I hope you do.
So, using your logic, I should try NOT to get in shape, because it may get the best of me, causing me to look and feel better, be healthier and live longer. I'm certain that those are bad things.
In case I'm being a bit too subtle, my point is that anything can be bad if you want to look at it that way. If the hobby strikes you as bad, don't hop on board. Me, I'm a joiner 
so I'm going to continue, and get in shape too!
I truly feel you should stick to stamp collecting or something along those lines.
OTOH: This wouldn't make a bad sermon at the local Baptist Church next Sunday. Probably get a better reception too.
There are many people who truly live life. Life is short and we have one life to live so we better live it! Anyone can die at any moment in time. Some dies happily doing what makes them happy. Some die with regrets..thoughts of should have, would have, could have been..
I prefer to die happy with a happy face.
Sorry. I've slept through class lectures that were more emotionally engaging. For an activity that has to do with ones mind and body, you're far to stuck in your head.
-- Modified on 4/20/2009 1:19:34 PM
1. Because your post, to me, was designed to illicit negative attention from the very people you are subtly making fun of, particularly on a board of less restraint.
2. I wanted to give the Newbie Board a thread to play with vis a vis #1 above.
Have a nice day.
Move it over to the P&R board where we could "really" have some fun with him.
I know it's not a political topic, but his negativity towards the hobby obviously has religious overtones so it wouldn't really be off topic.
Please, please, please, I'd love to tell him how I really feel. lol
If you are there might be reasons to agonize over hobbying. Nothing bad is likely to happen if you don't have a significant otther
He seems to be thinking out loud...or thinking out typing...whatever...rather than trying to be deliberately provocative, although, obviously he was provacative.
His concerns seem to be about, in point 1, the health risks of having a lot of sex with people who're having a lot of sex...condoms are really good, but not perfect...It's a valid concern. Fearing STDs is a healthy thing...if we didn't, most of us wouldn't use condoms...
Points 2 seems to be about a concern over the potential of becoming obsessive/compulsive about hobbying...pursuing escorts to the exclusion of other positive things in his life...more goal-oriented things maybe...
And 3 sounds like he's concerned with falling into full-blown sex addiction.
He says that he has seen some providers, and that these have been good experiences, but that he's worried about actually making this his hobby.
What's the big deal? I certainly mulled things over before I jumped into the job...of course, being a provider is far riskier in most ways than being a client...and requires a tolerance for living a double-life--unless you have the chutpah to be forthright with the people in your life about what you're doing for a living...the few people I've told have had very negative, concerned reactions, so keeping secrets is looking more appealing than honesty...
Anyway...I don't see anything wrong with living an examined life...it's more interesting, if nothing else...