Some providers, knowing that I am Bev Fisher's lover, won't see me because they like Bev and don't want to do anything to hurt her!

Likewise Bev tells me that some potential clients have refused to see her out deference to me, which is even crazier.

Both Bev and myself believe in polyamory, and have a bond that way transcends sex; which we look upon as a gift to be shared and enjoyed with all whom we wish to.

I have read quite a few mangina reviews from Johnny boys who say the girl was great, but they couldn't enjoy the session because they were thinking of their ATF.

Happens when people are looking for hobby to replace their marriage. No...its just meant to replace SEX in the marriage.

of my first escort encounter.... it was the olden days, when men were men, and the sheep were SCARED!  Before the internet, WWW, twitter, facebook, heck, even before "myspace!"  I went to a "massage and relaxation center!"  This incredible looking blond greated me, called the other masseusses into the "waiting room" and asked which I would like - I asked if she was available, she stated yup!  we went back to a private room... and she said it would be X for a massage - I figured that was all there was to it, nothing special as the rate was standard for a legit massage... I agreed, paid and she turned me over on my stomach - and proceeded to give me a massage (clothes were off me but not her).  after about 5 min she asked me to turn over, and proceeded to  massage my front!  Next- she has her face near my cock... then stops.... she offers that the massage is over!  by the look on my face she knew she had me... she asks if I would like to tip her, and that she found me  attractive, and would like to hang out with me..... off the clock... I say sure, whats a fair tip - to which she responds 2X... I fork it over, she askes me to sign a release stating that I received a massage for $X but whatever we did after, was our own business....  I lie back  down, and well, it was a pretty standard escort - hobbiest encounter - so you see, I had no time or reason to feel guilty - as I was not married, seeing anyone or anything else....  Ahhh, the good old days!

I've never been much of the "hobbyist" per se - perhaps until I parted ways with a provider who became very special to me, or rather she dumped me for getting too carried away with my emotions for her. But then, like I said, I wasn't a genuine hobbyist or a player even though I had been with several other providers in my adult life, so what did I know about P4P and never getting emotionally attached.

Before she came along, for my few other visits I did feel pangs of guilt on several occasions but had always rationalized my conduct by recalling how my wife had insulted/criticized/humiliated me and/or had withheld sex....and then, afterwards, I'd come home to a wonderful meal waiting for me on the table. Boy, did I feel like a heel. But more often, I'd think of cheating and would call around to different providers as the urge and the rationalization struck me. But, at the same time, I would pray for strength to resist the temptation to stray from my marriage vows to my wife. I would usually end up not liking the sound of a provider's voice (perhaps too gravelly, or as though she were high on drugs, or she sounded like a low-class street walker) and I would give up the idea for that evening. Or else I wouldn't be able to successfully get through to and contact a succession of providers I had set my sights on. I would feel like my prayers were answered that evening, that at least for that night I had successfully resisted temptation and sin once again. And then I would go home only to walk into a sh-tstorm with my wife over nothing. And then I felt like what a fool I was; I should have gone ahead and had my fun if I was to catch hell anyways. The next time I was with a provider I felt less and less guilty. And then I met the provider I now refer to as my (now former) ATF. I didn't feel guilty at all with my wife
for my times spent with my ATF. After al I had been through emotionally over the years, perhaps I was subconsciously
looking for a way to part ways with my wife. I had had both love and lust REALLY BAD with the ATF. I would have sold my soul for her. I could understand why Adam had bitten of the forbidden fruit when his beloved Eve had handed him the apple. It was that bad...Strangely, I couldn't force myself to see other providers even though I knew I was getting too emotionally involved

-- Modified on 11/14/2012 7:46:01 PM

Most providers will tell you, as will most women, that they especially hate cheaters and liars. Many providers are, themselves, divorced after having been lied to and cheated upon. Which makes it all the more hard to believe that they would then go on to work in a profession that subsists on lying and cheating by many if not most of its clientele! They are, themselves, complicit and culpable in encouraging and enabling other liars and cheaters. It's the height of hypocrisy, but then anything can be overlooked for money, for greed. We know we Johns are in the moral gutter, but then perhaps this is also why the term whore has such a pejorative meaning no matter how much our gals here try to sugarcoat it with such nice-sounding terms as provider and escort. Just saying...