what does it really take to get out? honestly. i think to myself, ok, start the new year out right be done. i dont need this. sex life at home is good, not great, but good. get some resolve going. then...see a pretty, tight young thing with a tiny little ass, and plentiful breasts and i think to myself...i want that! how does one give it up?
So you want to "get out?" Why? You must ask yourself that question and give yourself a very comprehensive, authentic and brutally honest answer that makes sense to you. If you can't give that to yourself, your efforts at "getting out" will be waffling.
Also, what was it Jimmy Carter said? He had "lusted for other women than his wife many times?" So like Jimmy, having thoughts doesn't mean acting upon them. Now, if that's not possible, AND you've followed the step above, then maybe there is a deeper issue you may not be aware of. In that case, yep, I suggest hashing it out with a counseling professional. There are cognitive-behavioral methods for quitting anything, including purchasing sex [since after all, you state that you can get it for free.]
Jazzing up your sex life at home might help too. After all, what's the incentive to quit, when you're having more fun outside the home? For that, you'll need to involve your SO. Have a frank discussion with her too. It never hurts to discuss one's sex life with one's partner. Not enough people do it, and then they wonder why things fall apart. If people spent as much time discussing sex as they do talking about money..wow...I think our communal sex IQ would rise to genius levels!
Everytime you have to urge to hobby try to have fun with you wife. The other thing to do is to stay off the boards. If you don't you will get back into the hobby. This past weekend I had to work on Saturday. A few months ago I would hobby then go to work. This time I resisted the urge and was rewarded when I got home. On Sunday before 11:00 am my wife gave me 4 pops.
By putting the energy into the wife it has allowed me to cutback. The other rule is only to play when Auntflow comes around. That has stopped because she likes russian when Aunt Flow is around.
I made a statement a few months ago I was getting out of the hobby because of a few close calls. I have changed my mind I gave it deep thought but decided to stay in the hobby. It is not a financial burden to me but I have cut back.
The reason I want to quit, is quite frankly, cuz its wrong. I would be a better husband, father, business man, everything, if I spent the time I spend now on all the stuff that goes with the "hobby" on other things. The sex with my wife is good, not great. I just "hobby" cuz its fun. Its like I already have a well balanced meal at home, with dessert. But I act like a spoiled kid, cuz after eating my fill, I want to go down the street for another dessert.
Then it is clearly an issue which has its origin in moral and higher-thinking order for you. And now you have shared your conceptualization thereof with us. Clearly, plainly and distinctly.
So next time you feel compelled to do "wrong," print out your statement and read it carefully. And then obey your own law.
If that is not possible, then seek professional help in achieving this goal.
Telluride, who or what is it that is telling you, "It's wrong?" What moral authority are you believing?
Many moral codes were developed before the invention of condoms (and penicillin and the pill). Are you sure they are still relevant?
You could find you're a *worse* husband, father and business man if you don't follow the natural instincts you describe. Which are you going to obsess more over - hobbying or sexual frustration? Only you know the answer.
I'm not trying to tell you what to do. Just want to make sure it's *you* evaluating your choices, not some inner 'moral authority' you may not really believe in, but are yielding to before performing your own reasoned moral reflection.
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