Contacting ladies for a date should be a common sense issue, but apparently common sense isn't so common these days...
For the most part, most of you gents are polite and well mannered in your initial contact emails, avoid talking about money and our terminology, and don't usually make crazy demands. For those of you who have this common sense, BLESS YOU. For those of you who do your homework, BLESS YOU.
For the gents who email with lude, crude, rude and very very specific actions for money mentioned, please get a clue. These emails are AUTOMATICALLY deleted. Therefore, when you decide to email me 3x a day for the next month, you should realize that these emails are being deleted.
those emails where I have to ask ten times to get almost any info out of someone.
It would be so much easier if everyone were as conscientious as many of the ter gents on here are when they contact a girl politely and at least trying to anticipate some of what you may ask for... it's great.
Their heart beating, they dial all but the last number and think "Should I? OMG, I can't believe it!! I did it!!" When they actually hear your voice, they become tongue tied and hang up.
a wee bit too much and decides to see if the ads are real....
seriously, even in my "day job" I get phone calls that fall into one of these categories: 1) Wrong number was given to them - and they think I am another business. 2) Shotgun approach to my business without reading our web site to learn what it is we do - so they just call - hoping we can help them. 3) Targeted approach to my business - convinced that "if only" they talk to me, I will change our business model for them... because they present such a GREAT deal. 4) Idiots - who should not be allowed to drive a car, work with sharp pointed objects or do anything that requires an intelligence above that found in common sponges. 5) vile folks who are out to make my day miserable....
I suspect that providers get more than their fair share of these as well.
I've been guilty of leaving brief notes of interest on email or voice message, like, "Hi, my name (first and alias) is_____, and I'm interested in seeing if we can find time to meet. My number is_____, and email is____. I hope we can talk soon."
I'm paranoid about leaving very personal info. without a personal contact.
Once, I talk to the lady directly, I'm always forthcoming with the information she wants.
I have read from many postings and blogs that TER represents less than 10% of all the business any provider gets. If this is true and it is also true that the gents that ladies do get from TER are quite normal and well mannered in contacting a provider, then posting something like that here is not going to help.
I am going to assume the gentleman that are not "doing things by the book" are the guys that don't know about TER. Maybe a reply email to those guys giving them this website would be a good training move for them?
Katie, you are right. Common sense is the least common thing there is. Initial contact with a lady should be a no-brainer.
Read her website information carefully and send a polite, friendly email or phone call if that is her desired method of contact. Introduce yourself and provide the information she is requesting.
Just because what we do is not socially conventional does not mean we should not observe those social conventions when communicating with each other.
When I do so, I always treat it like I am using a dating service...I always include a physical description of self, educational and employment background, what brought her attention to me, why I would like to meet her, etc., without saying anything crude, obnoxious, or overtly referring to the hobby. Checking her website and reviews beforehand is key to knowing what to expect. Strong referrals are golden. And, for the most part, it works...most ladies respond, and that leads to meeting them. My most recent experience was typical: deployed the above methodology in making contact, she responded and was enthusiastic about meeting. The meeting itself was, as usual, tremendous! She indicated that she enjoyed the meeting when responding to my follow-up e-mail, and indicated she would like to do so again. Being Mr. Nice Guy in this world definitely works!
send a picture of "my little guy" so the lady can "prepare herself"! I also ask her if any smells make her retch.... and if she knows CPR. Usually when I ask about all the sexual acts... it turns her on some thing fierce cause I know she ain't never had sex like the Bizzaro dude can provide...
Heck, I'll bet she has just been awaitin me to come along and "ahem" be her dude.... I never ask about money 'cause she will pay me after... yea - I'm that good....
and the chicks.... well they flock to me. (some of muh chicks are below!) and for the chicks on this board who have seen me... (you know who yous are...) well, all I gotta say is its all true ain't it babes....!
For initial contact, (email) I always try to be as thorough as I can with the information the lady wants. Then it's time for the phone call. In my everyday life, I can carry myself very well, but put me on the phone with a lady I'm trying to set up a date with, and I can turn into a blithering idiot in a very short period of time. I am never rude, but I sometimes get off the phone, and the first thing to cross my mind will be, "Okay, what could I have possibly said that was incredibly stupid?" Probably nothing, but I've resigned myself to the fact that it's always going to be a question I ask myself.
May sound strange and contrived, but IMO like other strategic first sales contacts, besides doing my homework I usually have 4-5 points I want to cover, written on a post-it note. Then let it marinate overnight and revise. Avoids fumbles, dead air time, and is genuine leaving a touch of spontenaety. Also leaves the lady to extend the conversation at her pace. If phone contact, a cheery disposition is essential.
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