Some of you may remember a provider friend of mine lived with me for a few months while she got straightened out. You may also remember my letting you all know she had landed on her feet, retired from the business and had moved in with a female friend down in southern New Jersey.
Well, she's decided to return from retirement, and this is what happened to her a couple of days ago:
She made an appointment for an afternoon session. On her way to the hotel, she inadvertently met her client in the parking lot, and parked her car beside his. They exchanged pleasantries, and he headed into the hotel to get their room, promising to call my friend with the room number. They'd agreed on a smoking room.
A few minutes later, the client called her and said their room was number 112. When my friend got to the room, she noticed it was reserved for non-smoking guests. That made her feel something was amiss. Nevertheless, she knocked on the door a few times, but no one answered. When she went back into the lobby and looked out at the parking lot, she saw his car was gone.
You know, if a client sees a provider and decides she's not what he had in mind, he should at least have the courtesy to call an end to the session immediately. Tricking a lady the way this clown did is just uncalled for.
End of rant.
He got to size her up. He was too chickenshit to be honest with her. I say she should post a review of him on her site, shall we call him a rip-off SOB? Lol. It might make her feel better. Have her update her pictures. I have heard many women do not want to meet outside of a session for the reason that the gentlemen won't make an appointment later. It is terrible that this happened, but it happens a lot, you just don't hear about it.
Where is it written that men who decline an appointment must pay a cancellation fee? There are many professions where a missed appointment incurrs no debt, in fact that is the rule, not the exception.
For all we know the girl was using a photo from the Carter administration, was drunk, had her clothing on inside out, smelled or looked like a monkey in good light.
Her client owes her nothing and may have just been very grateful to have made a clean escape.
Bottomline he did not want the session after looking at her. Obviously, she should update her pictures. Nobody should have to pay diddly squat. Nothing happened except lost expectations.
He was probably too embarrassed to tell her, but that's no excuse. I'm sorry for your friend.
Hugs,
Ciara
paid her $50 for her effort to come meet him. For face saving, he could have said he had a family emergency and paid her $50 for her effort to come. This way, a white lie is generous and will not offend her. But if it were me, I would never back down from an appointment - performance is still KING and appearance only second.
-- Modified on 6/26/2004 3:40:27 PM
I personally don't think he owes her anything but a simple excuse that he is not going to go through with the date. What is so hard about that?
It reminds me of an agency I worked for like a year ago. They used scummy hotels for incalls and I went to meet the client there. Well, he said that he thought it was 200, not 225 (which made me uncomfortable and I offered to cancel the date as it was the agency's fault probably) and after totally feeling me up and calling me a whore as well, he says he's gonna go to his car to get more money, even though he had a huge wad of cash on the table. I knew he was leaving when he grabbed his keys and sunglasses. But why not just say I changed my mind, I feel like I am being charged more than was quoted, etc. I mean are we that hard to talk to?
I got a disgusting false review that same week on a local board saying that I saw the writer thru that agency. I have always wondered if he was the one who wrote it, just out of spite.
I don't charge cancellation fees nor do I pay them ever, if possible, in my own life. I try to always give at least that 24 hour notice thing to doctors offices, etc.
Sara
I have a certain nervousness everytime I meet a new provider... I'm always wondering and doubting. Is she going to be my first B&S? What do I do if she's ugly, with a couple of capital UGHs? Will this be a ROB? Is she a cop setting me up? What if she's a cracked-up, gun-wielding psycho broad from hell about to kill me and use my gizzard in some Satanic ritual?
But then the door opens, and I walk into a great time everytime so far. But I digress...
If I did walk into something I wasn't expecting, some B&S scheme for example, what is the proper and correct thing to do? Should I walk away, saying nothing? Try the Houdini escape like this guy did? Pay a cancellation fee? (I'd have a real problem paying a cancellation fee, since her misrepresentation in the case of a B&S is her own fault). Maybe just go thru with it anyways and see how it goes?
What words and actions would leave little or no hard feelings? Love to hear from guys more experienced than myself on this.
If I don't like her, she'll know right away. No use in pretending. Besides, you're supposed to relax while hobbying.
It just makes us providers that show up and deliver the goods bitter. Just say no and walk away. It gets better with practice. Otherwise I have to don the ugly padded suit and makeup to pay my rent.
that he could have at least given her gas money.
Hugs,
Ciara
When they know my handle...
I normally show up wearing a skull cap and Woody Allen glasses...
good way to break the ice...then some champers...and their hooked...so much that...
Sometimes they never get to see the real me....lol
As for B&S...or ROB....never happened to me thanks to TER
I do recall a place in the "old" NYC times square area...It was a downstairs sleazy movie theatre set up...you paid $20...and you were in..$30.00 extra, got you full service...I was 20 years old at the time...ladies would parade in front of you in bikinis
while you sat in dimmed theatre row seating...If you saw one that you liked, you would walk down the aisle and approach the lady and go "back stage" and do your thing in a dingy cubicle with a massage table for a bed...
I got so turned on by this Blonde with big knockers that I almost bumped the guy in front of me..lol...she had a great body and all....when I approached her I quickly realized she was old enough to be my Mother...
But I tell you she was real pro and just what I needed at the time to relax my nervousness and raging hard on...
The cubicle almost came down like a house of cards.
Cheer!
-- Modified on 6/26/2004 5:23:13 PM
Once again, we hear about guys that have no class.
I'm afraid that this is just part of the nature of this hobby,
as has been discussed here in great detail in previous posts.
I feel for your friend. Not only is it a pain in the butt to get stood up, I would think it would do a number on her confidence, just having gotten back in the hobby.
You seem to be a great guy, though, and I would hope you would be there to boost her morale and remind her that there are more great guys out here than there are jerks like him.
Just my opinion...
B
you're 100% correct. I can't think of anything much more low class and unkind than to backdoor a lady. Even in a case of misrepresentation, I can't think of too many circumstances where I wouldn't go through with a session. In any case, the lady blocked out the time, prepared for the date, and drove there. She deserves her full fee. This is no less reprehensible than standing up a hobbiest, thus the reason for my rant of several weeks ago.
Jacksonlips
What he did was the coward's way out. I've had providers do the similar things to me a few times and I was always amazed at the childish way they handled it. If you don't want to see someone, just tell them.
when i opened the door. They were usually very crass about it. Should I have demanded payment equal to the amount of time it would take me to find another provider? I can just see myself chasing their cars around the parking lot.
Really Jackson? It wouldn't bother you if you saw some pics u liked, emailed and called, were assured that yes, those are real pics, and then when she showed, it was an attractive, but completely different lady?
I know that would bug me...
In your scenario, I agree with you completely. It would likely be an entirely different woman. That's radically different from a lady being 20lbs heavier than her pics.
But, in my hobbying world, it never would happen this way. I research thoroughly, and only see ladys who come from direct referrals from hobbiests and providers I know well. I always know with certainty who's going to open that door.
Jacksonlips
Yeah me too, Jackson. I've always been careful who I pick to see, and haven't been surprised (except pleasantly!) or disappointed yet. The question was a hypothetical one.
How often does that happen?Maybe it is the girl in the pics.
trying to be polite while also trying to avoid a scene. I have always tried to let down a provider easily in this unfortunate situation by something noncomital such as "I was looking for someone taller, shorter, longer hair" etc. As for a cancellation fee, as long as I didn't feel that the provider misrepresented herself and the fee is reasonable ($50 should be the limit) then I'll pay. Should this guy have done the same? Sure. Could he have slipped her a $50 discreetly even in an open parking lot? Probably. Should this provider chalk it up to experience and move on? Definitely.
How did she know who he was in the parking lot, so as to park next to him?
Was this someone she had already seen before?
-- Modified on 6/27/2004 1:03:29 AM
which makes his behavior even more reprehensible, given that he knew how she looked when he made his initial phone call. As far as her parking next to him: it was just coincidence. Many hotels have a small number of spaces very near their entrance, and since this was in the middle of the afternoon, these close-in spaces were mostly empty. So, it's easy to see how they might have parked near each other without intention.
It's like that saying, " Life is like a box of chocolates you never know what ya going to get." He will never know...she could have rocked his world.
Seriously now ... I'm thinking of trying it with heavy-set women who have great sex appetites than skinny pretty models who look nice in pictures. I heard of this big brunette beautiful woman in my area whose specialty is DTBBBJCIM. I've also seen reviews of a hot redhaired BBW with 9 and 10 reviews whose sex appetite is endless. Goddam .. may have to try at some point .. not about looks, but the awesome sensuality they give.
The guy is certainly guilty of taking the easy way out.
But is lack of an explanation to the lady any worse manners than a provider who uses old pics on their web site, or pics that creatively hide flaws and only show their "good side"? Or providers that post only pics of themselves all dressed to the nines, but they show up to their appointments in ratty old jeans and a tshirt looking not nearly as sexy as the pics on the site? Or the fact that stats are almost always exaggerated on provider web sites (C cup when it's really a B, waist/hips a few inches shy of the truth, age a few years younger than the truth, etc..)?
Obviously this guy liked what he saw from her website/pics that prompted him to book an appt. If the picture(s) differ from the person's real looks to such a degree that will make a guy want to split and go home "unsatisfied", I think the lady needs to take the heat. Nor should she expect a nickel for her travel time or gas money. If she depicted herself accurately on her web site, this situation wouldn't have presented itself in the first place.
this happened to me once. I looked exactly like I did in my photos. I even had the same haircut and was the same weight. He even asked me to step out of the car to make sure I was really 5'7" tall. I had to laugh inside. I think he just wanted to get out of paying, because later (and yes we still managed to go back to his place), he admitted to being suddenly broke. He also said he was glad he didn't turn me away. I drove all the way to Flagstaff, too, so it would not have been very cute for me if he turned me down. Besides, I'm certainly not doggy-looking. We all look a tiny bit different than our pictures. Come on, now, give the girl a break!
Hugs,
Ciara
Your points are valid. I guess I viewed this situation from my own perspective. I'm not the type to pull these kind of shinanigans for no reason and I forget sometimes that there are a lot of banana head guys out do this.