I did it again. Today I didn't show up for an appointment with someone who has been nothing but sweet and kind and polite with me. Even worse, I know he had really gone out of his way for this session and is out the price of the hotel room. (If you are reading this I would like to pay for that. I doubt I could afford to compensate you for your time that I wasted.) I haven't even written or called to apologize.
I simply overslept and woke up feeling terrible. I feel ashamed especially since I have been doing this more and more often ... at least 5 times in the last 4 months.
So why am I even posting this? I don't know. I just thought I'd step up and accept my public ass whipping for all providers who have ever stood you up. Let the flames begin.
Although I can't say I condone the "haven't written or called" part of what you did, I will say it takes real guts to post this confession on the board. That in itself says something about your character.
Flame off.
LJ:
Were some of your no-shows due to the same client keeping you up late the night before and plying you with alcohol? More than one of the no-shows? Yes?
If so, then cut him off. He’s an inconsiderate jerk.
Or, at minimum, discuss every aspect of this with him. Chances are, he’s read your post and feels as badly as you. Maybe he’d even be willing to go halvsies with you on providing a “make up” session for the gent who experienced the no show (if HE would be willing to accept one as compensation). In other words, your friend would pay you back half of what you would have made and you would “comp” the other guy his new session.
BTW, I’m the same about oversleeping. In the last 7 days, I’ve been late to work, meetings, appointments, meals, planes, classes, games, etc. Yet, I consider myself very reliable (I’m just not reliable to be punctual). My problem is I just won’t go to sleep until every more interesting alternative has been fully explored. Once I get to sleep, however, I want to get all the sleep I need. I not have a reputation for being tardy but worth waiting for. There are worse things…
And, of course, realize that Dionisios and MichaelCA make good points. As does Sedona (who generally makes nothing but good points, have you noticed?). In fact, SHE might have taken your session if her crystal ball had informed her that the chronic canceller-dude was about to strike again... In any event, don’t overlook the fact that your post, putting yourself “on report” as it were, has already produced some priceless counsel from people who obviously want nothing but the best for you. That’s cool.
Posting here is all well and good, but pick up the phone and call him (or as a second best, write to him). But do it NOW.
No stories, no elaborate excuses. The simple truth that you over slept and feel miserable about it. Sincerely offer to make it up to him and he will likely melt. If he has indeed been “sweet and kind and polite”, you owe him that much, and especially if you can talk to him it will likely turn out better than you fear. Many of us guys are like that. Soft.
I can tell you first hand from what I am going through right now, the worst thing for him is likely not knowing. Don’t hurt him more because you feel embarrassed about oversleeping.
Good to come to some agreement for compensation..
Well, my date just called and cancelled! Oh well..
Funny thing is, a lady warned me that he's a chronic canceller, and we've maintained the date all along, staying right in touch to the minute, but, sure enough, he cancelled! I was hoping to break his record - LOL!
So, call up your guy and we'll make it a win-win - LOL!
and all 5 no-shows were for the same reason, it sounds like this might indicate a health problem. (For those of you with really dirty minds, I DO NOT mean a STD). Had a checkup lately?
Either that or maybe a early sign of Depression. Please talk to a doctor about this and find out if it something serious or not.
As for the stand up, please contact the guy. he is of course going to be upset. Howeve if he is human, he will forgive. Making up for the price of the room is a good start. You might want to think about offerring a discount if he is still willing to see you. You can only do, what you can do.
Please keep us updated.
LilyJune,
Congratulations on having the guts to post your admission without using an alias. I salute you for that.
I think most guys would agree with me when I say there is nothing worse for the guy (client) than NOT getting that call. It's happened to me, and probably most of the guys on this board. Personally, I would not be so upset that you couldn't make it, but I get really angry, and then depressed when I don't get a call. I don't know if it's embarrassment on her (your) part, or what the issue is... but it shows a total disrespect for the client. As you say, most of us go out of our way to make plans, book the room, etc, etc., and then for the girl not to show up or even call just sucks.
It happened to me once at a very expensive hotel downtown, and I had also "rented" some other toys that were also very expensive. It all worked out great in the end (so no hard feelings to the girl), but the point is I went through the 3-phases of no-shows:
1) ANGER
2) DEPRESSION and feeling sorry for myself
3) Getting my SH*T together, and making alternative plans.
Since you had the guts for this post, you certainly have the guts to call that guy, and let him know you couldn't make it. It's better late than never, but you should have called him immediately. Think of it this way, if I'm going to be late for a business meeting, I call the folks to let them know. It's not good business, or polite not to.
I would agree with one of the other posts, that maybe you're showing signs of depression. I know I avoid making calls to people I don't want to face when I'm depressed. However, all excuses aside, pick up the phone and let your client know what's up.
...lily, it took guts and well...balls, but call the guy and just accept a light roasting ~
Posting a mea culpa on the board is fine, but it doesn't do anything for the guy you stood up... you said you couldn't compensate him for the time he lost, but you really can... offer him a free session, or at the very least a two hour for one deal.... That would show you really care about standing him up, and it more than likely would satisfy him totally... in fact, he'd probably praise you to the heavens!
Also, not to be smart, but you might consider not booking early appointments if this seems to be becoming an ongoing problem...
Call him IMMEDIATELY. While it is commedable to make your public statement, this is really a private matter between you and the Client.
Consider the message that you've sent him: "I've shined you on and don't even consider you important enough to contact you and offer any explanation".
By posting to a Board such as this, yet still not calling the guy, you are making this worse.
Everyone screws up in life. The key is what you do next. Whether intentional or not, you have made this Client feel like a chump.
Thanks to everyone for answering. You were much more gentle than I expected.
I just had a check up and know that I'm healthy. My moods do sometimes get the better of me but I don't think that's what happened this time.
FastEddie,(et all) great advice. I don't know why it didn't occur to me to offer a free session except that I didn't assume he would want to see me after I had been so inconsiderate. I have also come to the conclusion that early afternoon appointments are unrealistic for me. I know myself pretty well and know that it has been a problem for me and I shouldn't have scheduled this session when I did. I had just wanted to accomodate his schedule.
I have been in contact with him and he continues to be just as nice as ever. I will offer him a free session.
Thanks Thanks Thanks Thanks and Hugs and Love to Everyone,
LilyJune
My cell phone alarm that had been set to wake me up finally went off THIS MORNING!