Kind of related to my last thread, but I will try to take a different tone. I have had some experiences with escorts where it wasn't what I had hoped. Maybe no DFK. Maybe bad chemestry. Maybe she looked much older. Various reasons. For me, sometimes I wish I could exchange the bad experience for my money back, aka I wish I had not chose to see that provider. For me, these are all experiences where I expected more based on ads and reviews.
Have others felt this way with sessions?
For those who choose a provider you know might not meet your expectations, but do so because you don't see better options, how do you feel after? Are you good with the decision regardless? Do you ever wish you had not chosen to see her?
Anyone find themselves more attracted to the idea of certain things where it doesn't play out when you actually get said thing? Example of this would be you watch porn and decid you want a slutty porn star expereince, but then feel empty after and wish you had sought out more of a GFE type of experience.
First of all, have you spoke to the escort and took in the conversation ?! Cause if you did, then you wouldn't be having this problem.
Speak to an escort I was disappointed with about my disappointment? No, absolutely not. I do not expert her to do anything about it so not feeling that is necessary. If I saw her and turned away, I saved my money. If I went through with it, I spent my money. It's like going to a restaurant. If I'm unhappy with my food, I can try sending it back to the kitchen before eating it. I don't eat it and then complain about it and expect a refund.
I was just wondering if others regret their decisions in these cases sometimes like I have.
in a restaurant and didn't like it, most will offer to get you a different entree and not charge you for the first one, but there are few that will let you eat your meal and then give you a refund. It's pretty much the same with pussy. Best advice in P4P is to let the big head do the thinking and let the small one do the playing. Lol
Yeah, big head is what enables you to turn around when you see she doesn’t look the part. But more often than not, she’s good enough looking, that your big head might think maybe she will be fine? It’s not until after you got your rocks off, that your big head sees the mistake.
When it comes to services, if it’s not reveled anywhere like in a review or in her ad, your big head doesn’t know until after you have paid and maybe have half your clothes off. At that point, getting dressed and asking for your money back might not go the way you want it to go.
Seems to me that the core here is the problem of information asymmetries and expectation management, as well as some element of a probabilistic world. Pretty sure everone can think of examples outside P4P where they have experienced the same type of problem you're aiming at.
In terms of regrets, I think there is a strong aspect of internal aspect. We regret having made some decision, we regret having stayed with the decision. The regret seems to be more about our own choices and actions somewhat separate from the external facts. We're mad about a bait-n-switch, we're disappointed that the provider was not as good as we expected.
Part of the problem here seems to be that biology and evolution have conspired to make sex a very emotionally charged thing for us -- the thoughts and the physical both trigger chemical responses that effect our mental state. That's one reason I often say people need to be more emotionally disciplined/mature and work on good expectation management. In some ways we're setting ourselves up for some of these outcomes.
I also think most of the above suggests worrying or wondering too much about why others are doing something is a pretty low payback effort. The exception here would be, in the case of those using reviews and then agreeing with the average scoring but still being disappointed and having regrets about their choice, looking at how people are actually using the reviews.
All of this has been pretty well discussed in the past -- though I suspect searching for the good threads/comments on TER probably a bit of an effort.
Its about expectations around an emotionally charged event. People use sex for all sorts of reasons; pleasure, ego boost and companionship are a few. On top of that, you are paying for something so you have certain expectations as a customer. If you have unsatisfactory sex, you're going to be disappointed it didn't meet your expectations and upset if it didn't meet your needs. Combine that with the feeling of being ripped off and you're in for a bad mood. It is easy to internalize this and blame ourselves when things go south. I agree that it helps to manage expectations and to focus on the things you can control.
Have to say this is a rather scientific response. You're not wrong though. It's often a tough learned skill to really harness our emotions when it comes to making decisions.
Yes, regrets aren't unique to p4p world. Nothing in p4p world is really unique to it.
But I don't agree that sex being emotionally charging or whatever has a big impact . For a lot of people, the extent of regrets is directly proportional to opportunity cost and amount of time/money invested.
Someone who buys a $100k vehicle and then is disappointed by its actual performance, will likely be more disappointed than someone who paid $100 for a blow n go from a street walker. A hot dog from a street vendor that tastes like two pack of ass you probably not gonna much regrets about as opposed to a steak place that sucks that cost you a pretty penny and you may have taken your client/date/friend to have dinner with at.
If each session of sex would only cost a fiver and was easy to schedule and execute as ordering a pizza, I think there would be a lot less regrets (time is also money ofc) and a lot more tries. If that's the case, is it really about sex being this animal that gets people emotional or whatnot?
Or is it about doing your research etc, spending time to set up an appointment, get ready etc drive to the I call and then pay for something that you thought wasn't worth it.
and other boards that disappointment is almost always the result of unrealistic expectations on the part of the customer. Sometimes they are not the fault of the customer, as when he was lured in by inflated reviews or misrepresentations on the part of the provider on her website, which most often takes the form of age and image issues. (This is why I will usually add ten years and 20 pounds to whatever the photos show when I choose a provider, but when reality is worse than that, then I can still be disappointed, but not as often.) Lol
However, many times, the anticipation period the customer goes through increases his expectations to a level that is almost impossible to meet, and so the disappointment is a product of the customer's own approach to the business. The more you can keep emotions out of it, the less likely you will work yourself into a guaranteed failure of a session. This is transactional sex, and the provider, if she has any acting chops, will give you an illusion of a girlfriend experience which is what you are paying for, but if you choose to regard it as real, disappointment will surely follow. Even when you are repeating over a long period of time, you must not lose sight of what the reality is. I tend to think of my regulars as FWB. We're not in love, but close friends with a desire to have sex in a mutually beneficial way when the urge arises. As a result, I think I have an much fun doing this as I'm allowed, with a very limited number of disappointments.
Part of what creates those unrealistic expectations in a customer's head is that they are sometimes actually met. I have been with a provider that is drop dead gorgeous and could be a model. I have been with providers who look exactly like their pictures. I have been with providers who are exactly as described in their reviews. In fact, my success rate is probably in the 3 out of 4 range, though this isn't exact math. So it's hard for me to suspend these as possibilities when they not only happen, but happen more often than not.
So yes, when she looks 10-15 years older than her pictures and no one pointed this out in reviews, I am disappointed. When nowhere in her ad does it say she doesn't kiss and multiple reviews even say she does DFK, and I get a half assed LFK at best, I am disappointed. When she is toned in her pics and reviews back this up, and she actually has 10-20 pounds of flab, I am disappointed. If these were all the norm for me, or at least the more often than not, I could see where I am not being realistic with my expectations. But as someome who does his homework, it's not often these happen to me.
I think what you described is probably more likely for those who do not do their homework or take more chances and TOFT.
These kinds of disappointments are grounded in things out of your control, and sometimes there is no way to avoid them. Too many reviews give us only the good, and leave out the bad and the ugly. One way to reduce this risk is to PM reviewers and ask them about negatives that did not appear in their reviews or ask specific questions about appearance compared to the website gallery.
We customers have to maximize our vetting of each provider we choose where practical and not fall into the trap of emotional involvement, but these will not offset completely disappointments from things out of our own control. Never forget, it's a business transaction. Be as prudent and as unemotional as you are in your other business dealings.
You are not the first to suggest PM'ing those who have reviewed. And, I certainly have been PM'ed myself and was helpful where I could be. But as much as it is good advice, it's advice I have failed to take. This is a me thing, but I feel awkward emailing randos who have done reviews here. If it's someone I recongize on the boards, I would feel less so awkward.
You and I largely agree in this area. The only additional point I'd mention is too strong a focus on specific expectations. I've found that if I keep myself open to what's going well sessions may be different than I initially expected but still very good, and often stellar. When I let myself be occupied with what I'm not getting I miss those opportunities in life.
I try to do this as well. But sometimes it's so hard. If I expect a 30 somthing year old and get a 50 something year old with early signs of wrinkling and skin flab, even if she does everything else well, I cannot get it off my mind. This happened to me. Another time, she was about 50 lbs heavier than her pictures. I wasn't attracted to her. She too wasn't bad with her service. But I could not get it off my mind.
I don't understand why you wouldn't just walk away if the provider was 50 vs 30, or substantially different from her photos. I've encountered that a couple of times and I just said 'Sorry, you're not the lady I saw in the pictures' and turned and walked out. Why would I/you stay under those circumstances?
It’s a legit question. And I will give an honest answer. But it’s really not a good answer because I should have. The older broad wasn’t ugly for her age and my little head thought he’d get past it. The heavier broad wasn’t bad looking for a heavy broad. Again, little head thought he’d get past it. So, on both counts, I let the wrong head make the decision.
Of course, there is a range within such a comment as I made applies. It's not meant to be a univeral in all cases type approach.
My point was about people that actually could have had a good session but for whatever reason just could not let go to enjoy what was good. I'm not claiming anyone can do that to make a silk purse from a sow's ear -- as the old saying goes. If there is something that is just completely unacceptable then all the looking for a silver lining is not going to help. Just leave, if you feel bad or are worried about anything leave the payment with the provide. She'll be happy and get over being jilted.
Seems you're asking about those.
Sure. Yes, I've been disappointed by providers who haven't met expectations I had from reviews.
Yes, sometimes when I go to see someone who I expect is mid and they are worse than I thought, or even the same, sometimes I might think it was a mistake.
One thing that would often get me is the opportunity cost. I'm a bringer and usually see several girls in a day. Which here's be days whered I see a couple of new girls and they'd be OK but I kept on thinking man I could've seen my atf instead. (of course there were also times where my expectations were exceeded so much I was like, thank God I've decided to see her despite average reviews, because she is awesome)
What I found helped me was hedging. Now this probably works better with kgirls due to more flexible scheduling and pricing, but still... any time I see a new girl or maybe new girls... I also see my atf or cf... someone who virtually guarantees me a great session. This way even if other girl(s) are meh it will feel better. And it has worked. Sometimes the atf has a sesh so good I don't even care that much the next sesh with a new provider is underwhelming.
So hedging has really helped me. It also helps keep a nice balance between "best pussy us new pussy" and my favorites who give me awesome sessions.
Unlike you, I don't see multiple escorts in a day. In fact, it's usually 1 a month for me. Interestingly, when I have a session that disappoints me, I usually feel a stronger urge to book another session asap with an escort I know will meet my expectations, or at least think she will becuase she did the last time. In some ways, I feel a better session will help me forget the mistake I feel I made.
Well, if you have that urge you may get where I'm coming from.
One time I had a sesh so bad I left without even cumming and then scheduled with my atf immediately after (thankfully she was available on short notice). She fucked my brains out. I still made sure to review the sesh (this was before my TER times) and tell others ofc, but my atf helped to make it a better day after a dud.
I have had a couple of sessions so bad I didn't get off. But I did not book another same day/night. Honestly, I just don't have the funds. I've promissed myself I will always spend on a budget. As someone in my tax bracket, I feel the moment I start spending above my means, is the moment the hobby has got a hold on me in ways I never want it to. As long as I control what I spend, I feel I can live with the good times and the bad times that come with it.
Regrets, I've had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course
Each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way
I have tried to avoid disappointments by carefully choosing a provider after looking at her reviews and website, or getting a recomendation from someone. Has it always worked out? No. Even with someone I saw regularly, after a time there were issues, so I stopped seeing her.
Chalk it up to part of the game and a whole list of other factors, that there will occasionally be disappointments.
On the other hand, I have also had some unexpected amazing encounters, so I can say I am generally satisfied with my experiences.
I've had the same experience of seeing a provider a number of times but finding the later sessions lacked. In some cases moving on and not looking back was my approach, like you.
But for some rather than just moving on I took a break. Maybe some of the Absence makes the heart fonder and familiarity breeds contempt at work here. But for the several I just took a break from and later returned things were really good. I suspect that will not always be the case but just something to keep in mind.
I agree with your idea that sometimes taking a break makes things better. I did take a break from this one regular girl. (I was seeing her about once a month). However, there were a few issues on her end that made things uncomfortable, and were still there even after I returned to seeing her. So rather than have a less than good encounter or causing hurt feelings, I just have not called her. People sometimes change for various reasons, and I prefer to just let things sunset instead of having some type of confrontation. But I still have some great memories of a lot of awesome time together.
When the thrill goes -- for whatever reason -- no need to make something of it or perhaps cause a confrontation about something. P4P is not a "seeking permenant relationship" situation.
In my case it's largely been when things start seeming routine and a rut (and not in the "passion" sense of rut) so got unexciting and a bit boring. I suspect we both got a bit complacent. If the spark can be reignited great. If not then move on with good wishes and just remember the good times. I suppose if there are background issues then wish them the best in resolving then and remember the good times.
If you had some great sessions with a provider in the past, and things are changing and "thrill is gone", I don't think even the most asshole out of customers would have a confrontation.
I certainly would never. If I've seen the provider many times, this means I really liked what she was doing and I liked our sessions.
Now, about the most I would do is to update a review to reflect the current state of the provider, but confronting someone who put in legit work and made my life better only because time has passed and it's more routine? That's fucked up lol. Providers don't own personal relationships to anyone.
It's like if you go to a mom and pop spot to eat ribs for years, for example, and they were excellent but slowly quality is getting worse why would I confront owners about the taste or quality changing. They gave me so much good food before.
Now, again, I might make an updated review so that customers know it might not be as good as before - I thin that's more than fair. But beyond that theres no reason for any confrontation.
And I say it as someone who thrives on confrontations 
Remember where you are in this entire matter....Pay for Play is not like in the movies........keep your expectations in check.....it will be what it will be....your attitude in the entire process has a lot to do with the outcome.....gals aren't usually in the business for any real reason but to make money.....they aren't psychologists or run way models.......just aren't !
I see it from the persepctive of Caveat Emptor - let the buyer beware.
Just because someone had a great experience doesn't mean I will and vice versa. Reviews help, but if it doesn't match up for whatever reason then that's alright. There are many other fish in the sea!
Maybe by this point in my journey I am bit jaded, but yes, there has been some clients remorse. I rely heavily on reviews, and not just from one source, the more the better. But not just reviews in general, but the vibe from the reviewers perspective of the provider. Is she warm, energetic, shy, conversational, etc. There was this one provider that I had researched for quite a while, and I was so enamored with her that I contemplated flying to her city just to have a session with her. Eventually some things lined up, mainly she decided to tour, and I was able to drive to see her. What I was met with was not at all what I had fantasized about. Her photos were clearly photo-shopped, she looked at least 8 to 10 years older than anything that I'd seen on the internet, and she had recently had botox injected, and surgical procedures done that limited what we could do during the session. None of which was referenced in her most recent reviews that I had read. On the flip-side, I have had some of my best and most memorable sessions by having the mindset going in of just not having any outlandish expectations.