After a recent romp with a provider, she told me she noticed I was on TER and asked for a review. She was great and deserved a great review, so no issue there. But it crossed my mind, “how did she know I was on TER?”

that you use for your TER account?

Nope. No reference was involved.

This would be it. I was not aware they had a look up option with it.

I was a bit surprised by that when a provider friend told me she could see my email address that I used for TER.

Provider could see your email address -- where?  how?  What did you tell or show this provider that gave her clues to that info?  
Thanks.

Yep, I would like to see this too as I have been under the impression that that would be private information only TER admins had access to.  

This is different. What I heard/learned is that if you use the same email address when booking that you use for TER, they can see your TER handle. There is an email search function for providers that they need an email to put in to then find if you have a handle that matches it.

This is why you do not use the same email for your TER account that you use to contact providers.  They are allowed to submit your email to find out your username in order to verify you're a member and read the reviews you have written.  It always amazes me how many new guys join TER and never bother to read everything they can about how the site works until after they have a problem resulting from their ignorance.  Lol

-- Modified on 5/25/2024 9:25:38 PM

I probably said that wrong.  I think I posted a message with my email address and she said she could see whatever associated with it here on TER.  It was probably six years ago so I've forgotten the details.
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My email contains no real life info, so it doesn't matter to me.  And I don't hide my reviews from those people I review.  So it has no impact on me.

TBH, I felt the same way. I’m not trying to hide behind my reviews and that email is not connected to anything else. It’s literally my hobby email, hence why I use it here and when booking. It was more about me simply not knowing this feature existed. I was caught off guard.

Good question and the answer is informative to all of us.
This is one positive purpose of this forum to inform clients and providers!

-- Modified on 5/26/2024 7:45:53 AM

This sounds dangerous. Random searching could expose people who don't want the notoriety. Just keep submitting "CEO at Big Company dot Com" or "Government Official at Government Agency dot gov" etc..  (Real emails of people are available on corporate, gov, org websites.)  
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"Hello Mr. Mayor. I was surprised to see that your TER username is ABC and, from your reviews, that you like [X], [Y], and [Z]. Check out my Profile ######. I hope to see you at the next City Council meeting."

that CEOs, government officials, and others who don’t want the notoriety would use a hobby-only email for their TER account.

LOL, how soon we all forget.  
I don’t wanna get this moved to a different board so I’ll just stop there.

One of those North Korean, Russian, or Eastern European phishing scammers can register as a Provider, write a fake review of themselves to get a TER ID, and then write a script to search TER for MILLIONS of public emails and see if anything hits. They only need one hit to reel in a big phish!

than “Just keep submitting "CEO at Big Company dot Com" or "Government Official at Government Agency dot gov" etc..”, huh?

you need to worry about that any more. It appears those who could do it don’t care about such things now.

A lot of us do this as part of our process to feel safer. Not being whitelisted doesn’t necessarily deter me from seeing a gentleman because I do more screening than that. But, when I see that a gentleman is whitelisted on TER, I consider it a safety bonus, and I feel more relaxed when meeting.  

There isn’t a way for providers to see your email on TER.  TER keeps that info private. I think what she meant is that she can type the email address you gave her into the TER whitelist, and she can see if are whitelisted.

Zeel,  
  If a provider says that she noticed you on TER than that means she had access to the TER and saw you. Providers do have access TER and do see who's putting thing on there

BTW, that is what I said. The part I didn't say was whitelist. I was told if she had my email, she can find my handle. I never said she could find my email otherwise. I did not realize it only worked if I was whitelisted. So, that's new information. Edit: Not even sure if that was meant for me lol.

-- Modified on 5/28/2024 11:12:17 AM

that you should not use the same email for your TER membership that you do for anything else, hobby-related or otherwise.  

Personally, I don't see the issue with using the same email if it is hobby related. For me, it's literally what I use to book and on this site, and nothing else. Oddly, it's probably saved me from spending on providers who are not confident they will meet my expectations. My reviews are fair. If a provider is hot and provides great service, I will give out up to 10. On the flip, I will rate her low if that's what she deserves. Providers who know they are hot and provide a good service, should not be intimidated by my honest reviews. The ones that tend to be intimidated are the ones who don't look like their picture/ad (often the older ones) and ones who provide more of a YMMV service. Sometimes these are obvious by reviews. Sometimes they are less obvious becasuse some hacks are not honest in their reviews, but they become more obvious when I get ghosted when trying to book.

that a provider was able to ID your TER handle from the email you gave HER, and that means that email is same one you opened your account with at TER.  I'm just saying that using a different one can afford you an extra layer of protection from being outed.  You probably gave her some real-life info to get screened, and they she found out from your email your TER username.  How do you know she won't share this info with other providers?  Maybe you don't really care, and that can be fine for you, but others want to be anonymous as far as their reviewing, unless of course, you are Robert, who gives every provider hew reviews a TEN for appearance, which makes him two things, . . .1)  complaint-proof from providers, and 2) untrustworthy as a reviewer to other mongers.  I applaud you, Zeel, for your honest reviews.  We need more of that here.  

Yes, I did admit that, and I also admitted I wasn't so much bothered by it, but moreso surprised because I was not aware. And, you are correct, I did give some of my real information in order to book, and that's fairly standard for me with who I book. TBH, I'm not concerned about being outed. Maybe I should be, but I just am not. The odds are rather slim. Even slimmer is the odds that if it did happen it would cause further harm. Of course, this doesn't make it fool proof and I recognize I am taking some risk. This is fairly in line with how I choose to live my life. I'm okay with small risk. If it goes bad, it's my own fault and I will live with it.

Everyone here must determine their own level of risk tolerance.  For me, it is usually determined by the nature of the risk, and if it goes South, what is the potential for collateral damage, and whether I can easily recover from said damage.  I never asked you, but I suspect that, like me, you are single, so not having a spouse is one level of risk we don't have to deal with, whereas for others here, that may be their number one risk concern.  

coeur-de-lion,  
  As far as if a conversation goes south then that will have to be a risk you'll have to take.

If you pay attention you will see that I don't EVER consider conversation a form of risk for me.  It's communication, pure and simple, and I be happy to go to wherever someone wants to take it as I have done on multiple occasions.  The risk is mostly theirs, not mine.  I try to be civil even in disagreement, but when someone levies a personal attack due to their lack of proper debate skills, they are waiving that opportunity, and I will respond in kind.