I don’t ask for references. If you, do how long is a reference good for?
Up to 3 months6 months
1 year
Forever People change during life events. How long is a reference good for you?
for a provider I have not seen within 60 days. If that's the case, I would see her again before using her as a ref. It's not reasonable to expect a provider to remember the details of seeing you for longer than that unless you saw her three or four times within a year.
The other side of the question is "why should she give you a ref if you have only seen her once and now you are moving on?"
Why would she need to remember details of the encounter?
Generalities should be the only things necessary - safe, respectful, etc.
One lady I've seen blind carbons the client when she responds to a reference request. She seems to use a standard format and writes something like "yes I have seen him - no issues, no problems, he's a gentleman".
I almost never need references but I wouldn't use any lady for that purpose unless I've seen her within a couple of months. I also wouldn't use a lady for a reference unless I've seen her at least a few times.
Wouldn't you consider being safe and respectful to be "details" you would like them to remember about you? I agree a blow-by-blow recollection is not necessary, but I didn't say it was. But I would add that besides safe, respectful, and gentlemanly, I want them to remember that I'm generous. For me, generous tipping has always opened doors and gotten me priority with providers. After all, they are doing this for the money, so why pretend that is not an important factor. I have tipped every provider I have seen, even if I don't plan to repeat. That's how you make yourself memorable when it comes to relying on references.
But if the client paid and wasn’t an asshole that’s all that should matter.
I asked someone who I see somewhat regularly if she would be ok with being a reference and she got upset at me! She went on to say.....NO, I want you to come see ME!
Now who was I to argue with that. So I said ...OK then, that settles that, see ya soon!! 🤣
That turned out to be one helluva great visit too!!
Some ladies limit it to an actual number, like 3 references per each time you see them. I have never really had an issue. Almost all providers are very fair and kind about it. References don't just help the guy, they help providers who request them as well.
I feel 6 months to a year is appropriate, but it should also depend on how positive an experience it was. And how often repeats. Some guys can only see 1 or 2 girls a year, others see every week. Financial, work, home constraints can all prevent guy from seeing girls more frequently and it would suck to not have references vouch for you because of the break between sessions.
More than a year gets dicier because a lot can happen to a person over time.
I would let it go until I don't receive any calls from a Hobbyists.
I no longer accept references for screening, but I will give them upon request. I do let guys know that I am always willing to give one, but you need to ASK me first and also let me know who is going to be contacting me. This is for your protection. Your wife/GF/disgruntled ex could pretend to be a provider and contact me which we all know could turn into a shit show for you and for me. When I do receive a request I will be honest as to when I saw you, so if it was 2 months ago or 2 years ago that is the info I will be giving. If we parted on not such good terms, kind of like when you get fired from a job, probably not best to use me as a reference. I will be honest and I will tell the provider why I have decided not to see you again. (Yes, this has happened!!)