So I'm a provider, hence the usage of this site.  But primarily, I'm a regular person.  I live in NYC and as anyone who lives here or has visited knows, it's a city where it's very easy to meet people because most people walk or take public transportation.  You just come face to face with a lot of people and inevitably, meet people of the opposite sex.

not even think about writing fiction..

I better switch things up a bit hahahaha.

I was afraid that was the case.  So if I want the friendship of males, for the growth, enrichment, and experiences that come from interacting with male humans, but don't want to have to turn down sex, the guy has to be gay.  Great.

You've kind of answered your own question. If you just want a male 'friend' and no sex hook up with a gay guy. Most men expect a relationship to lead to sex. Some on the first date, but most will give you the benefit of waiting until some "near" future date. Kathy Griffin on Dave Letterman a couple weeks ago said she doesn't have sex on the first date, she has it before the first date. Relationships are a trade....either sex for money or sex for security. But, keep looking. If you just want friendship, do you really mind him being gay? If you eventually want sex, than it's just a matter of finding the right guy with the right timing.

I LOVE sex, don't get me wrong.  But there's got to be a good reason to have sex.  And it ain't because some random Joe Schmo and I had a picnic.

just wanted/expected to jump right in.  That's why I like this world better.  We get the sex part done right away.  Then, sometimes, if there's a connection, a friendship can happen.
But really, you can have a version of the same problem in this world with guys who have sex, buy into the GFE fantasy and imagine a connection that doesn't exist, then stalk you.
Isn't that really the same thing?  Of course, they've already paid to fuck you but emotionally it seems rather similar.

he doesnt know and you give him your number, 99% hes trying to date you or fuck you. Guys dont go out just looking for females to be friends with. If you give him your number, let it be known that you are only interested in being friends. Otherwise the guy is going to think the fish is biting.

They are looking to fk you. But do you really need me to tell you this?

Hanging out with guys who just don't find you attractive is another option, but if you're a hottie, well I guess you're just going to have to get used to it. Straight guys almost always think with our dicks. Something about the survival of the species or some such thing.

Don't worry, someday you'll be old and unattractive, THEN guys will start leaving you alone. Well, not all guys, you'll still have guys hitting on you then too. I wouldn't worry about it until it stops, THEN you'll have something to worry about. lol

Women I meet keep wanting money from me.  Go figure.

However, I find it tough to meet gay men.  I don't know where girls find their gay BFFs.  I mean, I don't work in a salon or boutique, nor am I artsy or a designer, etc.  I don't go to gay bars.  Just not sure how else to become friends with gay men.  They surely don't approach me and ask for my number.

Ride public transportation to Fire Island

would take a girl saying, "Here's my number but I'm just looking for a casual friendship" as a challenge, would they not?

When you have sex for a living, and make hundreds an hour a civie guy has to be pretty fucking spectacular to make it to your bed. At least for me. I don't date and work on tours, meaning weeks with no nookie in between. On occasion I wish I had someone to take me to a nice dinner or movie or to cuddle up on the sofa watching garbage tv together...

... offer to see mongers for free if they take you to dinner, but let them know it's only dinner - no sex - and if they want sex well... well, you know what to say

You would have hit pay dirt.

I was forever befriending gals in college and afterwards who just wanted to "be friends".  I accepted that even though I was so horny I'd go home and chew the furniture.  As soon as I could afford it, I started to hobby because it seemed that was about the only way I'd ever have sex.

I enjoyed doing things and talking to these women, though half the conversations with me were about how upset they are at how their boyfriends treat them.

Some many years later I had sort of an opposite problem:  I got reacquainted with a platonic girlfriend I knew back in high school.  I had just been divorced and of course I hobbied a lot and shared all this with her from the onset because I wanted to be straight with her.  I was only looking for someone to go out and see movies with and share some laughs, no sex.  But, it seems she had other ideas and sought me out for sex which I foolishly acquiesced to and predictably, it led to us having a messy break up within months.  A similar experience occurred with another gal, only this one had an ironic twist as she is someone I met at an MP but our relationship became more intense for awhile.

So, it's a two way street with this sex thing sometimes.

I think the suggestion to befriend people from work and organizations might be better that just casual meetings on the street.

...and he's attracted. It just happens. Now regarding the other stuff he decides to do that.  

My personal residence is off limits until I know the provider at a very personal level at least a month or two or more...  :s  

Honey you can tattoo just friends on your forehead, it doesn't work. I have had guy "friends" bide their time for years but inevitably they always make a move. It's annoying when you just met the guy, but if someone has been pretending to be your friend whilst having "feelings" (bonors) for years it's a painful betrayal and their frustration can turn ugly quick.

Posted By: Skinny_Minnie

would take a girl saying, "Here's my number but I'm just looking for a casual friendship" as a challenge, would they not?

...Isn't that what woman often complain about no communication. Works both ways.

I'm guessing you're kind of new to New York? This link may hel

1) You are almost certainly turbo hot. If you are, 95+% guys with the balls to cold call approach you are shameless horndogs. If you want to meet a more civilized dude stop taking numbers from sex-freaks on the street and go to a BBQ class or join a sports league or whatever the equivalent is in depraved NYC...

Invite her to dinner OTC... that one will put things in their proper perspective

expresses your quandary pretty well.

It features one of my all time favorite Hollywood character actors, Percy Helton.

Really good response.  I think we relate in a lot of ways.  I want a guy to go out and watch movies with, ride bikes, go to museums, etc.  And no alterior motives, no pressure.  You definitely "get" it.  

They will say yes and still try and hit eventually. I have totally given up on straight male friends and have the most gorgeous gay male friends that I love hanging with. The guys I meet at work, this work, pay to fuck me and that is how I like it.

who go the "I only hang out with gay guys because they don't want to screw me" route and they are bitter and either terminally single or ugly.  

And I love my gay boyfriends.

I make it priority to be up front as soon as I can so I don't waste his time or become annoyed at fighting off his advances.

-- Modified on 8/31/2014 1:45:33 PM

... if I pretended to be gay then I could have hung out with all the hot girls... and then maybe after a while I could have said I'm curious about what hetro sex is about and... well, not it still probably wouldn't have worked.  But if I pretended to be a gay guy with money...hmmmmm

Which BTW is bullshit. I have been so honest that the guy would have to be in a coma not to get it but still, he had to go there and was kicked to the curb for his efforts. Shows disrespect if I have told him in no uncertain terms I do not want sex with him.

Maybe tell her that you think hotels are just sexier than your place.  Tell her you're a slob and all you have in your LR is a lawn chair, cooler, and bean bag!  And you have no groceries.  Etc.  I think she'll be ok to stay in a hotel.

Women make horrible opposite-sex friends. It's constant drama and being flirty to get favors. Maybe you'd find a friendship with a man enriching (since you'd have a drama outlet and someone doing you favors) but from the man side of the equation, there's not enough in it if there's no chance to fuck.

You stop gazing in the mirror.

She's a white girl trying hard to be an exotic girl. White people all look the same to an Asian guy though.  Ha

That is an intriguing idea.  That may be crazy enough to work, with the right client.  He'd probably have to be single though.  Have free time on the weekends, etc....

I stayed at her hotel every night in same bed, OTC.  

Seriously. This sounds like mid-20s puppy type behavior. It's less common if you look up into the early 30s bracket, and even more so if you go 40+

Tell her Turdy's your roomie.  

They may not be good suggestions, but they're suggestions.

Are you not looking for a boyfriend period? Or just that these guys dont cut it for you?

..you write very well in fact.

If you're looking for strictly platonic, I'll second (or third or fourth) the suggestion about befriending gay guys.

"...there's got to be a good reason to have sex. It can't be because me and Joe Schmoe had a picnic." Lmfao I'm tweeting this with credits to you lol!!

...Men and women alike responded compassionately. That is saying a lot. You deserve an award! Most constructive post of the year.  

Yes, it has happened but most of the women here are smart and tough, take care of themselves and get respect.  I can think of only one who does not, and gets regularly bashed for it.  She actually doesn't understand why and probably never will.

If you REALLY want a non sexual relationship with a guy - you need to meet in a setting that is not one on one.  Guy on the street/in a bar/church/grocery store/whatever random place is not going to accomplish this.  Hot chick met on the street/bar/church/grocery store - go to her place for hot sex --- basic fantasy fodder for any guy with detectable testosterone and a hetero orientation.  You will not succeed in establishing a stable long term non sexual relationship with that starting point.  Guys are pigs - that's how you girls make money.... We think about sex continuously - it's called testosterone poisoning.  

..because its so true.

I think Minnie was think of a male companion, not one with that level of Estrogen.

You have had friendships with girls who just want you to change their tires, kill bugs, unclog the sink?  Like one-sided?  Yeah guys are good at things like that.  But surely female platonic friends can also bring some value into your life, even if it's not sexual.

but a guy will never talk to a random hot girl just to be friends.  

Men are from Mars and Women are From Venus.  

and if anyone wants to nominate me for a BSU, well we can just step outside and discuss it. lol

I will confess that the few "Hot" female friends that I have, I still at least on some level want to fuck, but maybe it's because I get LOTS of sex, I am able to table those desires to fuck my hot female friends.

Now I will confess, if I ever have a "drought" I might forget that my friend is "Just my friend" just like if he is hungry the lion is going to forget the lamb is his "friend" so on behalf of all my hot female friends, let's just hope I don't have any "droughts" in getting pussy. lol

...it's always what happened. I'm gonna keep saying it's never only one or the other.

...indeed mean yes. I said, you realize what you're saying, right? She said, yes she did.  

When are you and your HFF from Atlanta coming back this way?

Turning red lol

Ask if she really means no because you think she means yes.

Sorry, but it's true.  Guys can't help it.  It's more or less impossible for guys to spend any amount of time with a woman as "just friends" (going out to dinner, a show, a museum, etc) without starting to feel some sort of affection/lust/love.  We pretty much want to nail 'em all.  It's coded in the DNA, nothing to be done about it.

I'll agree that these "winners" you've picked have been remarkably unsubtle in their pursuit of you and your affections.  At some point though, a guy is going to wonder where "the relationship is going"; he may ask you straight out, and be disappointed by your "let's just be friends" response (and/or turn creepy stalker-ish on you), or he may never ask and just stop calling.

Assuming you're reasonably attractive though (and if you're a provider, I guess you'd have to be), you're going to have to get used to this kind of "attention" from men.

...too many other possibilities to deal with that.

And I don't think there's anything wrong with having the thought in the back of your mind that you'd like to fck her.  As long as you're both respectful to eachother and it's not a one-sided, manipulative thing where all you do is odd jobs around her house, I think that's very cool!

When you leave your place to go on your little vacation, just make sure that all of her shit goes with her.

I take it you've never done this before, have you? Not to mention a 10-15 year age difference is nothing. I remember a few years ago I was seeing a Korean girl who mentioned that I was 14 years her senior, I told her that I was a bit concerned that she might be a bit too old for me, but that she was in pretty good shape for an "old broad" and that I was still willing to try and make it work, despite HER old age. lol

I treat me female friends that I don't fuck the same as I treat my male friends. (which I don't fuck either. lol) Odd jobs, errands etc are things that you do for someone you want to sleep with, and in my case I still won't do "Honey do" shit. That's why I am perfectly content getting most of my sex from hookers. "Paying for it" beats the hell out of being expected to do "man shit" around the house. lol

Cuz you rook kinda rike Odd Job (if he was skinny). LOL!

Now it is considered stalking.

People often wish for the "good old days" but this is one improvement that is exactly that, an improvement.

"The good ole days weren't always good, and today's not as bad as it seems"

and NO, I am certainly not going to claim those words as my own. but they are appropriate, aren't they?

I'd be good at that, as most women don't find me desirable. They wouldn't want to use me for anything else. Plus the lady might get her money back. That is, if I pass her screening process. Which should be a piece of cake, given she(my date) would also be my employer.

It's time for you to raise YOUR rates !!

-- Modified on 8/31/2014 5:41:33 PM

What you just said makes you sound like you're either bitter about being friend-zoned a thousand times (even after doing all kinds of favors for those chicks), or you're just kind of an all-around buzzkill. Either way, being friends with you sounds pretty unappealing.  

I like guys who have that "I give very few fucks" aesthetic, but sweatpants?! I didn't even think people wore sweatpants anywhere other than home or the gym. No sandwiches for that guy holy shit.

I have respect for her and none for you. It's just that simple. I hope you understand now.
Congratulations.
PS: You are the last person who should be lecturing about hypocrisy.  And you know why.  It's all about integrity, if you know what I mean.

-- Modified on 8/31/2014 8:45:00 PM

She might come to Dallas for a couple of days or we might meet in either Atlanta or NYC.

and she is a bad example of a "female friend" or a least a platonic one. We've been fucking since the first two or three minutes that we've known each other, and even though she is now an "old broad " of twenty five, fucking is still at the core of our relationship, even though we do a lot of other fun stuff together.

is fucking awesome

I am bald, unemployed and I live w my parents....and w all that going for me I would never wear sweatpants on a date. I would've mentioned my small penis, but that is TMI

....you will have all of the male buddies that you want.
But then you won't be able to have any platonic female friends, since you will be constantly hitting on them.

Men ALWAYS want sex, whether it be civvie or hobby. It's unfortunate that you're so attractive guys are trying to get into your pants - I really do empathize with the horrible dilemma of being a hot woman. Had you been born homely, you would have absolutely no trouble finding a ton of heterosexual men who want to be platonic friends. So my suggestion is to ugly yourself up and trust me, the guys will stop hitting on you.

YOU of all people would be the very first to remember the primary reason I can't invite another girl to my place at the moment.  

that you've left behind the real world. That's a common theme with escorts, once they've been paid for sex, they always want to be paid for sex. No wonder so few providers successfully transition back into the civvie world and find true love and a man that they'll have sex with without him laying $$$$ on the nightstand.

I am sorry, I was really only kidding about wanting to fuck every one of my hot friends. Well the truth is, while many of my female friends are QUITE fuckable, and if we were ever to find ourselves drunk in a hotel room together, you "never know" what might happen. but that said. I don't find myself stuck in the "Friend zone" nor do I resent the fact that I am not having sex with my female friends. The truth is, I get  as much sex, either through the hobby or the good old fashioned way as I could possibly want. I don't need to resent women for not "putting out" what a sad and miserable life some of these guys must live.

Don't get me wrong, I am every bit as big a pig as any other guy here capable of getting an erection, but there are well over three BILLION women on this planet, there is no shame in not trying to fuck every single one of them, I guess those guys who never get any pussy have the time to dwell on the women who won't fuck them, I would rather dwell on the women who do fuck me, and I really don't mind having women friends who don't fuck me

Come to think of it, I have literally dozens of female friends right here on TER who are certainly fuckable, I mean they must be, that's how they make their living, most of these women, just like you Tobi, I have no expectation of ever having sex with, now or ever, but that doesn't mean we can't be friends. Just don't expect me to change your tire for you. I will however be more than happy to call AAA for you.lol

I don't think hot is a factor. Many men will hunt anything that walks... and pay for it.

I literally LMAO on that one!  To his defense, I am pretty sure he got them from American Apparel.  Like he was going for the throwback 90s sweatsuit look.  It was a major fashion fail, but I'm pretty sure the intention was good.

and then "not so skinny Minnie" would have all sorts of guys not interested in having sex with her, but most likely she would still have lots of guys right here willing to pay her for the pleasure. Sounds like a win win to me. lol

It went something like what you said: "You have had friendships with girls who just want you to change their tires, kill bugs, unclog the sink? "

Your SO shouldn't be concerned, after you are the GAAH

I know, you'll have to pay her after you break the news to her.  

I have lived with a couple of providers in the past so seeing a provider off the clock is not at all new. Considering you knew why I took a hiatus from the hobby last year or so, I'm surprised at your response. lol  

The rest of your points are well taken, especially the part about having a girl living with you, unlike our little Turdy, I have enough difficulty keeping up with my own life to remember whether or not some other drunk presently has a GF.

She doesn't know they were/are escorts but she is aware that we've slept together before either as a 1 night.  She's cool with me inviting friends despite having slept with them in the past as long as i'm not currently fucking them.  

I think after being as escort, women do continue to want something for sex.  Not cash per se, but maybe a marriage with a well-off man or even just to be with a man with some social status or access to resources/connections that benefit her.  I do have an education and some marketable skills (non escort) so that I can somewhat make a living with on my own, but would definitely like to be in a secure relationship someday.  Lots of women want this though, not just escorts.

I was dressed nicely and on my way to see a provider.I arrived in the area about an hour early, parked in a lot .2 of a mile from her incall, and stepped into a juice place for a cool something and a relaxing, air conditioned place to kill time. This chubby girl with scraggly blonde hair asked if she could sit with me and started talking about how nice I looked, if I worked in the area, what I had planned for the day. How often does a stranger hope to get an answer to, "So, what you going to do with the rest of your day?" I almost felt like telling her I planned to spend two hours in bed with a woman I would then accurately describe in glowing terms, but the chubby blonde was just ugly enough to be an out-of-shape cop.

Maybe they recognized you from your ad and trying to get a civvie freebie?   Seriously, all you can do IMO is make it clear you are not interested in sex.  If they drop you, then you have a compatibility issue and better off without them.

It's like when you were 18 years old and kept getting "carded" for everything. It bothered you. Still getting carded at 26 and it bothered you, but you were getting carded a little less and caring a little less. Then one day you realized you weren't getting carded at all. Enjoy it while you can.

I'm not sure what's worse, a slob who wears sweatpants on dates, or a hipster douche who wears them to be trendy.  

Posted By: Skinny_Minnie

I literally LMAO on that one!  To his defense, I am pretty sure he got them from American Apparel.  Like he was going for the throwback 90s sweatsuit look.  It was a major fashion fail, but I'm pretty sure the intention was good.

Too many times in my life I've been the Joe Schmo at some other good-looking gal's picnic. Although long-time female friends say I'm a very attractive guy, I lack the knack for landing a girl on the spur of the moment.