Newbie - FAQ

Re: Why ask if her non respose merits telling Gina...
AnOfficerandaGentlemen 108 reads
posted

Because I think that there should be established standards or protocol.  Sure, every situation is different, but there should be some level of consistency.  I just want a predictable and consistent P411 experience.

If you use P411 to send an appointment request (NOT an pre-screening request which does not necessarily merit a response), then is the lady required to provide a response (P411 terms and conditions/user agreement)?  In other words, does P411 require her to accept, reject, or propose a different time within a reasonable time period (say 2-3 days).  Are there any consequences for a lady that does not respond within a reasonable time period?  Should you send a note to P411?  In the past, I have sent a pre-screening request which did not receive a response (1 or 2 out of ~20-30), but I have never NOT received a response when I sent an appointment request?  Until I sent the appointment request 6 days ago, and a follow-up PM 3 days ago for a lady that is touring.  She just arrived.  It is against my policy to "beg" to see a lady who I am paying good money to see.  But what is the consensus in these sorts of situations?  Does this merit sending a note to P411?  Posting on a local board?  Nothing?  I am going to move on here shortly, but I just wanted to see what other folks think so that I can make a decision.  Did I get wait listed and that is why she did not respond?  Frankly, I just want a response.  A reason would be nice, too, but the consensus seems to be that I am not entitled to one.

I know that you could see when the last time folks logged on was.  She has logged on multiple times since I sent the initial appointment request.  So that isn't the issue.    

my-0.02-cents126 reads

Is she a popular girl?  

Girls that are popular usually concentrate on more profitable appointments to lock those in and or trying to adjust calendar around before making contact with you. Same thing happened to me,  found out during our session that her assistant was trying to juggle multiple 3hr appointments that were overlapping and working around a 24hr date, but I was still able to get my 2 90min sessions during her 4 days tour by saying I will take any appointment you can give me.

Yes, she appears to be very popular.  You are probably correct.  

GaGambler134 reads

The straight answer to your question is YES, providers are required to respond to appointment requests through P 411, I don't recall how much time they are allowed to respond or what the consequences of them not responding actually are, but yes they are REQUIRED to respond and you can send a note to Gina at P 411 if you care to do so.

 
Personally I just let things like this go with the "plenty of fish in the sea" kind of attitude, but you are within your rights to insist on a response, even if said response is "NO"

 
My feelings on the subject is that a non response is a tacit no, so I've already gotten my answer, I don't really care about the reason as it's not like she turned down a marriage proposal and most likely I won't even remember her the next day if she doesn't get back to me anyhow, but each to their own.

Yeah, I hear you.  I generally just let it go, too.  Except that this is the second time.  After the first time, I received the ... please try again in the future and I will go out of my way to make it up response which I have only ever received a few times.  I had high hopes.  Then crickets.  I sent her a final e-mail (which I usually don't do) just politely reminding her of that and basically doing what was suggested above: I will take any appointment (1-2 hours) while you are on tour.  If she responds favorably, then I will go in with an open mind and all is forgotten.  If she doesn't, then I am send a note to P411.  I've had providers tell me that they will make it up to me in the past because of some sort of screw up (usually traffic related) and damn they sure did.  With this lady, I'm not so sure that will be the case.    

when you now say you are going to do just that if you don't hear from her? Do you really want to be "that guy"? Are you really that thin skinned?

SMH...

Steph

GaGambler133 reads

Just because you "can" do something doesn't mean you "should" do it.

 
One thing the OP should keep in mind, just like the guys talk back channel between ourselves, so too do the ladies and he could find himself on several DNS lists other than the girl in question if she tells all her friends what a thin skinned, vindictive whiner he was to her.

 
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By no means did I whine.  Rather I just sent P411 a note and asked them what I could do to be more successful and asked if they could help and/or what protocol is.  The last message that I sent to her basically said money isn't an issue.  So 1 to 4 hours you choose.  That is as far as I go.  No begging to spend 2.5K.

GaGambler108 reads

but you crossed into "whiner" territory long ago.

 
Not to mention that sending if your last message to her saying the "money is not an issue" proves you have also officially begun to "beg to pay for pussy"

 
You REALLY need to give up the ghost on this one, remember the first rule of the internet "when you find yourself in a hole, stop digging" so please just stop already.

Yup I broke a few of my rules with this one.  P411's response was interesting.  They recommend making 2 recent attempts followed by a reminder PM and even suggested considering a phone call which I thought might be a little over kill.  And moving on after 48 hours if no response.  Still, I am a little ashamed of myself for upping the ante.  Know when to fold em.  Plenty of fish in the sea.  

Because I think that there should be established standards or protocol.  Sure, every situation is different, but there should be some level of consistency.  I just want a predictable and consistent P411 experience.

Why did you even bring it here? You already knew you weren't going to listen to any advice contrary to what you believe to be correct. You ARE "that guy" pure and simple. and you certainly  aren't giving off any warm and fuzzies to the ladies here.  

And YES going to Gina with it is pretty petty IMO. You did it as a zing to the lady for not responding back and nothing more. You aren't fooling anyone with your talk of consistency or proper protocol. It seems to me that you are just going to be one of those nit picky guys that does these kinds of things.  Were you a tattle tale in grade school? And please don't bother trying to correct me about what kind to guy you are.  I know exactly what kind you are now. Carry on being "correct" in your mind, ignoring the advice you were given, thus making your OP a moot point.  

SMH...

listen to anyone or find any of the above useful.  First, I actually found the advice useful.  The guy above told me that he wasn't prioritized because he requested a 1 hour long appointment and a lady was trying to fit two 3 hour long appointments.  But when he went back and told her that he would take any 1 hour long appointment ... he got in.  That response is one of the reasons why I sent that last PM.   Second, I just sent P411 a short, polite note.  P411 exists to enable seamless and painless scheduling.  Overall, my experience with P411 has been phenomenal.  This was an exception.  My note to P411 wasn't vindictive or whiny at all.  I just asked if there was anything that they could do to facilitate the appointment.  That is the service that P411 provides.  At any rate, time to move on.  

I don't see that anywhere. Ladies have guys contact them from P411 inquiring about a date then disappear.  IMO that's not BL material in the least. You had no confirmed date with her! Highly doubtful they whine to Gina about it. It just sticks in your craw you that she didn't respond and you couldn't let it go. SEVERAL people told you to let it go, yet here you are STILL talking about it, all the while claiming you've moved on. Evidenced by your posts below... Nit picky as all get out.  

Get the heck over it (and please don't reply that you are already over it),you clearly are not. I'd hate to see how you'd act if a gal last minute cancelled on you. Sheese!

-- Modified on 8/8/2017 4:29:34 PM

I am over it.  I am only replying to get the facts straight here.  

I did have a confirmed date with her.  Briefly:

1) i contacted the lady and we had an appointment set up.  As I was driving to her location, she texted me that she had to cancel.  She indicated that she would make it up to me and that I should reschedule.  We exchanged some more texts thereafter.  She seemed altruistic.  She said that I would have no problems in the future.  
2) I attempted to reschedule with the lady because I accepted her at her word.  I took a day off because she seemed sincere and ethical.  I rearranged my schedule around the date/time that i requested the appointment.  I went back and ensured that she was aware that if a particular time wouldn't work that I would work to accommodate her scheduling.  In other words, I would be flexible.  
3) Then the provider was unresponsive.  

I agree that a guy contacting a lady and then disappearing should not be blacklisted.  I would assume that most people would care less if they didn't expend any resources (time, money, etc.).  But I suspect that my situation would merit a blacklist from many ladies.  Let's put the shoe on the other foot:

1) Guy contacts provider and sets up an outcall appointment.  Provider is in her car driving.  Guy cancels.  That right there is probably enough to characterize him as a time waster.  
2) Guy apologizes and tells provider that he will see her on day whatever in the future.  Provider is empathetic.  Provider does what she needs to do to prepare for that appointment.  
3) Provider hears nothing back from guy.  Provider sends a few PMs/text messages.      

Am I wrong?

This never happened.  Then it happened twice recently.

-- Modified on 8/9/2017 7:16:50 AM

-- Modified on 8/9/2017 9:10:27 AM

If the shoes were on the other foot and something similar happened to a lady, I am sure that she would be encouraged by other ladies to place the guy on blacklists.  All that I did was make a good faith effort to see a lady who I wanted to see.  I reached out to P411 to see what they suggest given that the system is supposed to facilitate responses and appointments.  When it became evident that it was time to move on, I moved on.  

And I appreciated Christine's response below, which suggested contacting P411.

I don't want sound rude. But why ask this here.  

Since you have a membership and have used the service, ask them for official response. Anything response/answer you get here not from Gina is not going to be official.

Gina always answers questions very quick. Why not ask woman that actually run the service than ask here. Or maybe Gina will see here as she is on boards often.

Christine

Yes, providers are required to respond to your request.  Even if it is a pre-screening I normally get a response via email or PM on P411.  If you want to know if your request has at least been viewed click on the "Tracking" tab on the client homepage.  Perhaps she has viewed your page and doesn't think you'd be a good match, don't have enough "Okays" or has filled her appointment book for the tour.

I'm sure there is a time-limit but I know I've accidentally let requests slip through the cracks, without replying for weeks, and there haven't been any repercussions.    
I'm not proud of that, but I admit it's happened. (Not as often since getting an assistant though!)

 
Here's my take on your situation: you sent a date request a week ago and received no response.  

This could be because she's already busy at your requested time, her entire visiting schedule is already full, her psychic told her not associate with anyone whose name begins with the same letter as yours or....... she just plain flaked.    

You then followed up and "reminded" her of a promise to make up a previous situation.  Hmmmmm..... just speaking for myself:  If I've already got a nice schedule lined up, comprised of clients who are not expecting me to go above and beyond (even though it's likely completely warranted!) and I was already trying to juggle things so I could accommodate you?  

That little reminder might make me decide against trying to fit you in.    
Why?  Because I don't NEED that additional appointment, let alone one with someone to whom I've made promises of an extra effort.  

 
I know that sounds cold, and it's not how I typically handle things, but when I'm in the middle of a very successful multi-city tour, with more potential clients than I can accept..... it doesn't take much for me to decide against seeing someone.  

 
But this is just my perspective.  This lady might have every intention of responding to you and seeing you but unknown circumstances have gotten in the way.  Unless she does reply, there's just know way to know what's going on.   :-)

I look at this through a different lens: to me it is an integrity and ethics issue.  If you say you are going to do something, then you do it.  Don't make a promise and not keep it.  And treat people with respect or how you want to be treated.  I am not going to beg or dwell and I have already moved on (in terms of finding a different lady).  But I do feel obligated to report it given that I feel disrespected and that it is the proper thing to do.  If people cannot follow the rules, then they should not be entitled to services that should be viewed as a privilege and not a right.  Once reported, the burden shifts for a reasonable person to make those sorts of determinations.  Or just perceive the request as an administrative nuisance.

If people did follow the rules and the laws, this hobby would not exist in the US, except in Nevada. Remember, we're all sex criminals here.

Posted By: AnOfficerandaGentlemen
Re: Definitely let it go.  
I look at this through a different lens: to me it is an integrity and ethics issue.  If you say you are going to do something, then you do it.  
I absolutely agree.  I'm sorry if what I posted above was unclear; I was only saying that you may have waited too long to reach out to her.  

Case in point: today I am seeing someone to whom I owe extra time due to cancelling on him with very short notice.  The last time I was in this city, I wound up having to cancel my entire schedule for the day so I told him that if he gave me another chance I'd give him an extra 30min as my apology.  A week later, I posted my return date (approximately one month in advance) and he sent me a date request within 48 hours.  
His date was set before any others and even though I now have a full schedule for today, I would never consider bumping him or shortening his time.... but had he waited to reach out until just a week ago?  
It's likely I wouldn't have been able to schedule him then.

 
So although I am in agreement with you about upholding one's word.... I'm also not going to overbook myself to keep that word.   ;-)

 
As I've said before: we're not just giving haircuts here.  This is personal, and takes more than just physical energy.  I know my limits, how many dates I can comfortably accomodate within a set time period,  so  if I'm already booked up to the edge of my personal limit when someone deserving of extra effort wants to get together?    
I'm sorry but it's best for both of us if I decline.

 
Please understand that I'm not condoning her lack of response; as long as there's nothing more to it than what you're aware of and have shared, should have simply told you she couldn't see you this time.  ;-)

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