A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire
herself out as a 'handy-woman' and started canvassing a nearby
well-to-do neighborhood.
She went to the front door of the first house, and
asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch," he said, "How much
will you charge me?"
The blonde, after looking about, responded, "How
about $50?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and other
materials that she might need were in the garage.
The man's wife, inside the house, heard the
conversation and said to her husband, "Does she
realize that the porch goes all the way around the
house?"
The man replied, "She should; she was standing on it.
Do you think she's dumb?"
"No. I guess I'm guilty of being influenced by all the
'dumb blonde' joke emails we've been receiving."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door
to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" the husband asked.
"Yes," the blonde replied, "and I had paint left over,
so I gave it two coats."
Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the
$50.00 and handed it to her.
"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a
Porch, it's a Lexus."
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house burgled and ransacked. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do?
They send me a BLIND policeman!"
A blind guy goes into a bar, not realizing it's a lesbian hang-out. He takes a seat & orders a drink. After a few minutes he asks "Anyone wanna hear a blonde joke?"
A deep voice from the opposite end of the bar says "Mister, there are a few things you should know. The bartender is a blonde. The bouncer is a blonde. The blonde lady sitting next to me is weight lifter. Two seats from you is another blonde gal who is a professional wrestler. I'm also a blonde, stand 6ft-l, weigh 200lbs, & hold a black belt in karate. Now think carefully, mister--are you really sure you want to tell that joke?"
The blind guy hesitates a minute & then says "Nah...I guess not. I wouldn't wanna have to explain it five times!"