Advise for the day: If you have a lot of tension & get a headache, follow the instructions on the aspirin bottle, "Take two & keep away from Children."---Author Unknown
"If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball & savng an infant's life, she will choose saving the infant without even considering if there are runners on base."---Dave Barry
"Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Manogamy is the same."---Oscar Wilde
"Suppose you were an idiot....And suppose you were a member of Congress....But I repeat myself."---Mark Twain
"Ah yes, divorce.....from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."---Robin Williams
"Women complain about prementrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time I can be myself."---Roseanne
"You can say any foolish thing to a dog, & the dog will give you a look that says, 'My God, your'e right! I never would've thought of that."---Dave Barry
"Do you know why they call it 'PMS?' Because "Mad Cow Disease' was already taken."---Author Unknow..& now presumed deceased