Was contacted by a cute, 23 yr old POT about 6 days ago. Pertinent info/concerns:
1-She wants our first date to be at my place and volunteered to stay overnight
2-Her texts come from a @icloud.com address rather than a phone number
3-When I asked to speak to her, she made some excuse about her phone having a bad connection
4-She's sent me numerous daily texts and scantily clad/nude pictures of her
5-She asked for me "grocery money" and I caved in for $50
6-We agreed to get tested before our date, and I sent her $$ to cover her expenses. Will ask to see her results tomorrow.
1-How worried should I be that this is a scam or that I'm at risk of being ripped off at my home?
2-If she shares her negative test results, should that reduce my concerns?
3-Should I demand to either talk to her on the phone, and/or meet her in a public place near my home first? Just trying to reduce the chances I'm robbed in my home. She is hottt tho! Appreciate any wise counsel.
It’s a bit late now, but you should have had a platonic unpaid meeting before doing anything. And not send money before the sugar begins.
I say a good chance you’re not going to see this girl. The photos could be of anybody. And it’s rare to start an arrangement with an overnight.
You could have lucked out.. but if the date takes place still best to meet outside your place to be safer. And don’t hesitate to walk away and cut your losses if something seems off.
If I were betting on it, I'd bet you never hear from her again (unless it is to ask for more money.)
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Why would you think any "test results" she sends you would be legit?
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Doesn't look like she needs to rob you at home, since she already has a load of your dough.
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But I lose bets often. So good luck.
The bad news first: You got scammed and will never meet her (or more likely, him). You will never see your money again. And it's possible that (s)he has "friends" on SA who will try to rinse you for even more.
The good news: This was a rather inexpensive lesson to learn.
The FIRST and MOST IMPORTANT rule of the Sugar Bowl: Never send money in advance. Never. Just to clarify; never. And if your still need more specifics, NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So that's the answer to Question 1: Very worried to the point of certainty.
Here are the answers to:
Question 2: If you take her for tests, or the test document (preferably a digital format with a QR code) is from a reputable provider - and you are confident that you can spot a fake, then yes, sharing negative results is a very good sign. Bear in mind that any test results are a "snap shot" of her condition at the time of the test. The more days that have elapsed since the test, the less reliable/viable the result. (For me I get tested every 4-5 weeks.)
Question 3: From this POT, demand nothing - move on. From your next POT, ask (demanding is a losing play) for a brief public meet - I like Starbucks. Second best is a video chat. And third best a phone call. But beware; it's easy to mask key info on video and even easier on the phone. I once asked for a video chat and after she stalled for a while she agreed. She was sitting in her car, pretty, perky and flirty.... 4 hours later as she was bolting out my front door my with my cash, I realized what I had missed in the video chat. She was sitting the passenger seat in the car, while her accomplice was driving.
Life is good
The Cat
Thanks for the responses. After I texted that I wanted to meet in public, the text responses have stopped .
I got scammed. In addition, I took a POT to a $100 dinner tonight to find out she wanted 2K ppm.
I feel like a schmuck. The bowl can be a harsh place. I’ll try to stick to the TER playbook.
Thanks for the reminders.
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I've been scammed a few times. I feel it is the cost of doing business and learning the ropes.
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I feel if they ask for any gifts or advances up front, they're likely a scam -- including buying their spicey pictures. In fact the spicey pictures types are probably guys reselling porn pics they skimmed of the interwebz.
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The expensive restaurant deal is a matter of sequence. It's not really a scam, just a case of not asking questions in the right order. Although you can always get burnt on a pre-BCD activity because once paid for, she can always back out of the arrangement. So that's a tougher call of how much you should spend/invest before doing the deed.
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Generally I make it explicit I am looking for sex. Then if we get beyond that, go off-line and get the PPM details. If we're still good, make a brief public meet like at a coffee shop etc. Then finally if still on, arrange a hotel or home visit.
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Now having said that, just two days ago I violated part of that. I did say I wanted the sex. But didn't get ppm details until we met at a restaurant. But she was honest and insisted on paying her own food bill. She declined to go further, so I was only out the money for my own food. However time was wasted. I should have gotten the ppm details early.
What is a POT? Not something you cook with I trust.
Potential. Means you haven't schtooped her yet.
Buck up and get back in the game! We've all had our setbacks.
To minimize future cock-ups follow the playbook but also use some common sense. Have some conversations so you know this is a real girl local to your area, figure out what she is doing and what she is looking for. Most are not pros, and want some appreciation and some form of an ongoing relationship. More like dating than pro hunting. Figure out your strengths and what you offer and try to match that with the SBs. Good luck.
After sending her $$ for a gold standard testing panel on Monday, today she sends me a lame-looking negative HIV test that could have been fabricated. When I asked her why she didnt get the full panel done, I got no response. When I told her that BBFS was only on the condition of negative testing, she said "OK, we can use protection". Told her I'm out of here. Lessons learned:
1-If it seems too good to be true, it probably is
2-Never send $ in advance of anything.