I live in a very target rich area (central LA) and just getting my SA sea legs. My profile has more than one picture (including face - although happily married this foray has full knowledge and support of my wife). As a result, I'm getting easily 20-25 messages a day on SA. Some are the "heeeeyyy" nonsense with little else but many are written thoughtfully and mention specific things in my profile.
I don't have a problem ignoring the messages that have zero thought but feel compelled to answer the more thoughtful ones, even if I'm not interested. But if I took the time to respond to each detailed message it would gobble up a big part of my day. I'm pretty surprised how forward some of these POTs can be - I'm interested in 30+ and so maybe I'm dealing with women who are more comfortable in their own skin and know what they want. Do you answer every message you get? Is it considered poor form to simply ignore a thoughtful message? I realize common sense would dictate simply saying "thanks for the message but I'm busy right now, etc..." but don't know if that's a better route than simply (1) ignoring POTs that don't interest me or (2) filling the dance card, going dark, and then reemerging when I want to see other POTs. Thanks!I do think it's rude to ignore the good messages, and to flip the scenario, I feel crappy when I send a thoughtful kind message to a SB and am simply ignored. I know I'd rather get a "thanks but I'm not interested" msg than silence.
I haven't actually gotten long cold call messages from chicks. I do get "Hey!" of "How's your day going?" The first thing I check is if they are local, or from Bogota or some other place around the world. And then if looks, and bio look interesting I might reply.
.
Now had I ever gotten a long message, I can see two sides of replying. We're assuming we're not interested in this girl for some reason. I don't see the benefit to her to getting a rejection letter. Maybe in her mind a non-reply can be interpreted in a more positive way, such as the guy was too busy or hasn't logged on or gets too many replies -- which happens to be your case. I can see leaving it at that and not replying.
I used to feel obligated to respond, but looking at the SA ecosystem it’s just not practical. I rarely get responses to my messages and assume the girl isn’t interested or has other convos going.
But the real reason is there’s nothing you can say that would be useful to them — that they’re not pretty enough, too old or too young or too fat or skinny.
And in some respects it’s business for them. I get messages from gals I’ve interacted with who don’t recall being rejected..
Like Sweetman, I always send a reply to all "legit" messages. Being courteous and professional is part of the Sugar Daddy package and we should live up to our image. In my profile I say that I will reply to all messages from anyone who is "local" to me. Of course, I do not define what local means so I have some flexibility.
Now even if I'm not interested, I still send a short note letting her know that I appreciate the contact, but....
Why take the time for POT's that don't spark my interest? Because things can change. I may end up with an unplanned opening in my current rotation, she may sweeten the deal or provide more info that can increase my interest. She may have a hot fried that is looking for someone like me... Or she may think I'm just another jerk and block me.
It costs me nothing to be polite and generate some goodwill - even if I probably won't see any reward down the road.
If you really need to make the "no thanks" process efficient, here's a Pro Tip: Create and save a few canned messages on you PC or phone. Store them as text notes and copy/paste them as needed.
Life is good
The Cat
Speaking of burned bridges, there was this big tit 30 something that I saw on SA a few years back. Later I recognized her also on Secret Benefits. I kept pinging her on SB because I had a paid account there but had let SA account go into unpaid status. But she never seemed to log in to SB but she remained active on SA. Literally three years went by with me pinging her on SB every month or so. Finally I re-upped on SA and contacted her. She remembered me! Huh, turns out we'd discussed and I offered $300 and she wanted higher. I have no recollection of that, but she remembered me (because we lived close to each other.) So I had burned a bridge. But it got unburned. I offered her $400. Seen her twice since. Last week she was tied up and I was flogging her ass. Talk about a long time coming.
I’m going to agree to disagree with my esteemed colleagues. I concur on the part about not burning bridges but that’s when you have a bridge (an arrangement) that falls off.
I have a certain type I like and there are messages from gals I would never go for, sorry. I don’t think we should flatter ourselves too much but there are a few women who seem to have a crush on me and keep popping up from time to time and I don’t want them to waste their time. I’m sure it’s the same in the other direction.
For the borderline cases… maybe, but it’s hard to see much value in saying ‘sorry not now but maybe down the road.’ And if we find the situation changes there’s no shame in saying ‘I wasn’t available last round but now it’s different.’
I filter out messages that are more than 50 miles from my large city. If they are 1 word messages or the how’s your day going intro I usually don’t respond. If they are recent ads to the bowl, 1 pic Sally’s, or no description , I usually don’t respond.
Now recently I broke those rules and did respond and told her she needed to do better. So she did! We met had a nice lunch and then went to a hotel , ( she paid for)! Tiny , 4’11” Asian girl, mid twenties, great little body , and we had a great time. We’re planning another visit soon.
For the most part I do respond even if I don’t think we are a good fit and I’ll respectfully decline when needed. But I like my little Asian girl.