The Erotic Highway

Defense against shopping expenses
brownjack 417 reads
posted

I have the following in my profile:  "Gifts, dinner, shopping, or just help with the bills."  Am I an idiot?

 
I will typically bring a gift to a date (under $50).  That's my choice, so I will always absorb that cost (tbh - it's usually something sexy for them to wear - so, it's a gift for me).  I also fully expect to pay all date related expenses (meals, hotel, my fuel, etc.).  I also don't mind paying for nominal (under $100) shopping costs (e.g.  I took one POT to the dispensary where she purchased ~$100 of product).

 
My concern is shopping sprees.  As I'd already established, I like buying gifts for my dates.  But, how do I protect myself from her slipping into some store while strolling through the mall (as the ladies are want to do - apologies for my sexist generalization :-P and "needing" a $500 outfit?

 
Should I remove the "shopping" offer from my profile?  Should "additional expenses" be part of our negotiation?  For example, "I will always pay for meals, tickets, hotel and either bring you a gift or set aside a small amount for shopping."  Should I ask, in the moment, whether she wants to pay for it from the funds that I brought for her?

 
Or, as part of our "discreet" arrangement (which it will be), should I not propose "out of the room" activities at all (which I find awkward - esp with an SB)?

"out of the room" activities have been a hallmark of my best arrangements.  We'd typically start things off with a long romp BCD, then hop on one of my motorcycles and go for a nice long ride through the countryside, and wind up at a little cafe somewhere for lunch. I love being out in public with a young cutie! That said, I have def had some SBs who did not want to risk being seen out with an older man at all.  So with them it was BCD time and that's all.  Which is fine with me, if all they want is to get laid and get paid.  I'm down.  As for shopping I would not put that in my profile.  It's too open ended, too ill defined.  I do make it clear that I will pay for all date expenses as well as the agreed upon $ugar.  And I have purchased many extra gifts for my SBs over time, things like books, clothing, groceries, motorcycle helmets, battery for her car, laptop, etc. etc.  But those things have been special extras, not expected as normal parts of the arrangement.  If I'm asked to "take her shopping" with no clearly defined purpose or limit on what will be purchased or what will be spent, I decline.  I don't like shopping anyway and I tell her that's what her allowance is for.  

In my profile and in early texts when describing my vision of a "good" or "great" arrangement, I use terms like "go out for something fun, maybe a nice dinner or live music, and other activities."  

 

When I actually make an arrangement offer (essentially like making a job offer) I use similar terms as Papa Sweet: "When we are together I will always pay for all expenses' dinner, drinks, travel, tickets, etc. You can literally bring zero cash and you won't have any problems (but always bring cash just in case). When we finish our date and intimate fun I will help you with some funds to help you cover important bills and stay safe. And sometimes I may decide to spoil you even more and will take you shopping or bring you a gift."  

 
The key is "I may decide....". It's up to me, not her. I may ask her what she wants (as previously discusses, need and want are not the same) and then I will decide how (or if) I want to respond.  Also like Papa Sweet, and tend to be very generous outside the agreed-to allowance. Including bringing a long-term SB on a 1-month trip to Australia (high budget luxury north of $20k) where I covered all expenses, as well as her rent and bills to compensate for her missing one month of work.

Like you, I also occasionally buy her (or me) a gift of a sexy outfit. Fun fact: after so many years of buying these - which most SB's leave at my place so they don't have to explain them to roommates, parents, SO's - I have a collection of about 35 outfits in a drawer in my bedroom. I spend a few minutes before each date picking two or three and I leave them in the bathroom for her to choose one if she wants to wear it. When she asks if I want her to wear one, I always reply "if you like, yes please do."  In magic tricks this is called a "false choice" where you present multiple options knowing that she will end up picking the one you want.

 
If you can't get a POT to first agree to the "base" details like allowance and schedule without an open-ended promise of (unlimited?) shopping, you are setting yourself up for financial disaster.  She will ask for expensive stuff so she can "look good for Daddy," and then will insist on more stuff, and then demand even more from her (no longer SD) Paypig.  

 
There are, sadly, POT's who present as Findoms.  IMO they just don't get the Sugar Bowl dynamic and we should all ignore them. Why? No matter how hot she is, she's not going to go BCD, she just wants cash and thinks you will get off giving it to her.  

 
Life is good

 
The Cat

Funny you mentioned that.  I'm really not sure what that is about and what they expect to find on SA.....

But I've talked to of girls who just want to get paid with no expectations and get mad that I won't just give them $200 for coffee.

Hard pass for me.

brownjack56 reads

I had one of those.  

 
She told me that there are guys out there who would pay here $800 just to be seen with her.  Admittedly, she was a smokeshow.  But, you'd have to be a really lonely guy with unresolvable ED issues to not expect to bang that after shelling out 8 bills.

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