I know this has been covered before but I just had to say something. I was looking around at another sight and they were telling you what some women would do and not do (not really reviews) and one of the catagories was bbfs. Supersingly the number that would (yes would) was quite high. Some were even said to allow bb greek! What possible rationale could someone give for participating in this, from either side? "It just feels good" does not cut it.
There wouldn't be any rational reason....
There was a post, many, many months ago, on the NYC Regional Board from a guy who was wondering what he should do. Seems his ATF / Steady Gal / Whatever had offered him a BBF.
He of course went on about how they RELLY care for each other (because they had known each other for 3 years) and he thought it would bring them closer and all sorts of other stupid drivel.
I of course responded with a combination of logic (eplaining to him the risks of such behavior, that for example he'd be having unprotected sex with someone who'd have HUNDREDS of different sex partners in her past) and by trying to get him to wake the hell up from whatever mental vapor lock he was in.
However, there was ACTUALLY a guy who disagreed with me and tried to encourage him, saying I was cynical and that back in older days that how it was done, and things should return to simpler times (I took it from him that he was an older gent).
It is stuff like that when I read it that makes me really wonder about A LOT of the guys in "the hobby". I just wonder, who ARE these guys sometimes...
I will try to find the thread, though I have never quite mastered the pasting of URLs here.
P.S. OK...I FOUND THE THREAD, BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO POST THE URL....IT JUST SAYS "http://theeroticreview.com/discussion/NewYork/" WHICH I PRESUME WILL NOT POINT TO A UNIQUE THREAD
there is risk in everything we do. some people jump out of airplanes, swim with sharks, and have unprotected sex because in their mind, the thrill outweighs the risk.
do you smoke? did you know that 70% of the people who died of heart attack in this country were regular cigarette smokers? that's separate from the risks for lung cancer, emphysema, stroke, and smelly breath & yellow fingernails. what possible rationale could someone give for participating in this hobby?
what do you think the risk of contracting HIV from unprotected sex is? about .3% (3 in 1000). how about unprotected sex with an INFECTED partner? about 12% (12 in 100).
(This thread is not directed at the author of the previous one as I cannot tell where you stand on this or if you think those numbers you mentioned are acceptable risk....it is however directed at all of those people particularly providers who do think that it is.)
It can adversely affect the health of those who did not make the decision to engage in such risky behavior...I won't get up on my soap box again about the risk involved in performing BBBJ"s and DATY"s but if you take unnecessary risks that end up involving other people like contracting and spreading a communicable and potentially deadley disease then you have a serious problem with your character. I am a self admitted thrill seeker. In fact I have even jumped from a plane and been on a night dive with feeding sharks. those were calculated risks and if I had been injured or killed while doing them I doubt I would have taken anyone with me. It's called accountability and it is something that never seems to be mentioned when this board starts discussing the risk of what we are doing here, I like sex so much that I want to make sure that I continue to enjoy it healtfully for the rest of my hopefully long life. I don't find the risk of contracting a disease to be particularly thrilling either...I personally don't find dying in a sick bed the most romantic of departures.
.The fact that grown intelligent adults take such stupid risks for the sake of some perceived extra thrill and then try to defend that behavior by pointing out that the information regarding the transmitability of said cootie is inconsistent at best so therefore negligible(as many previous post about BBBJ"S and DATY's have Done) is just plain selfish and immoral. Unless your unprotected event was an isolated one Which for most people here it is NOT then what you are doing is putting others at risk. No protection is a 100 perfect perfect but I know what it means to be the link in the chain of transmitted disease and I Know that many of my clients go home to a wife or signifigant other and engage in unprotected sex with them after having been with me. If I didn't do everything that my Doctor has advised me to do in regards to protecting myself and my client then I am responsible for the outcome as are all of you who put your own petty desires before common sense. Hey go jump off a freaking bridge while your jerking off as far as I care but leave others out of it. As with second hand smoke being careless with your body fluids Hurts people and can even kill them. If winning the lottery or progressive jackpot were as easy as contracing HIV everyone who has bought a lottery ticket regulary for some time or has spent extended periods at the one armed bandits would be infected.
I agree with everything you are saying, even while admitting to being a fan of BBBJs (sorry) and a willing partner for DATY on request with the right lady. (Frankly, I suppose this is because in both cases the risks for ME are really, really small).
Like you said, to quote the odds for contracting HIV via unprotected sex is just stupid....its STUPID!! The fact is that you CAN get it, and that is all I need to know.
Beyond that however, the facts quoted present a distorted picture...
3 in 1000 = 1 in 333 assumes BOTH participants have a relatively mainstream number of sexual partners, and don't engage in any deemed "risky" behaviors. Hello? A busy independent who also tours would probably see 300 different guys within a year NO PROBLEM. 300 guys who she knows little about, except that they are "edgy" enough to be willing to see escorts. You think that means the chances that they use drugs - perhaps even intravenous drugs - is higher? What about the chances that they have unprotected sex with multiple partners away from the hooby? Anyone who possess common sense and isn't in denial would see that those 1 in 333 odds DON'T apply for escorts or hobbyist.
Secondly, quoting HIV stats ignores OTHER STDs, some of which are very deadly as well (ever heard of hepatitis?), others of which are as easy to catch as a cold (herps, chylimyda) AND, as alphared points out, really places OTHERS in your life at risk (I mean, common, lets keep it real...how many of you have protected sex with your SigOs, even though you hobby?).
Any guy who has unprotected sex with an ASP is an idoitic moron, and any escort who offers it should be avoided like....the plague (because frankly, I wouldn;t bet against her having it...)
that wasn't HIV or something viral that the bbf could infect the provider with (lets say liver cancer), yeah, why not.
Please let us know where you found that information so that those of us who choose to protect ourselves know where NOT to go!
Its refreshing to see that some of you guys think with the head on your shoulders and not the head between your legs. After reading so many messages posted re: guys and gals jumping in head first without any protection for whatever DANTE, RIM, BJ...etc. Its okay to have fun but be responsible.
PS. Does anybody have a idea if these girls get (std's checkups) and how often? I assume theres no regulation like in Vegas or TJ...I guess the girls probably do not police themselves,,,,and the guys are to busy jumping from 1 girl 2 the next. Seems to me using protection would be a smart idea for both the guys & girls!
....thinning of the herd?...