If you are "simply sticking it in and getting it over with as fast as possible" a whopping 95% of the time, you have some serious issues you need to deal with.
Believe it or not, there are millions of women out there who actually ENJOY sex, personally I would kick any "cold fish" I met to the curb immediately, hooker or civvie. I will repeat what Van asked, where are you finding these women?I feel like this may becoming an issue for me personally. I am longing for a relationship that is similar to a GFE provider in that you are hoping for certain things to happen during a sexual encounter. Nothing to crazy more like DFK on to some oral for warmup then on to the main event. So when you are in a relationship and 95% of the time you are simply sticking it in and getting it over with as fast as possible does this create an issue based on expectations of something more.
I personally am expecting more than just a quick screw and more and more that is all that is on the table. So am I to just shut up and take it or do I push for those extras that make it a really memorable experience. The desire really comes down to being desired and wanted over just banging someone which is what we all really want in a long term commitment.
Thoughts??
Aside from the occasional "quickie," all the civie chicks I have been with were fine with making out and oral sex as part of foreplay. Where are you meeting your civie women, the backwater baptist church?
Sort of feels like that for sure doesn't it!
If you are "simply sticking it in and getting it over with as fast as possible" a whopping 95% of the time, you have some serious issues you need to deal with.
Believe it or not, there are millions of women out there who actually ENJOY sex, personally I would kick any "cold fish" I met to the curb immediately, hooker or civvie.
I will repeat what Van asked, where are you finding these women?
This is a long term deal it was not always like this
Find a new GF or stick to hookers, or both. lol
The first thing you need to do is figure out if your current relationship is "fixable" or if you even want to "fix it" and then either fix it or move on with your life.
I was at a similar crossroads some twenty five years ago. I was married and simply no longer "felt it" with my wife. She was still willing to "put out" but I had simply lost all interest, not in "sex" but in sex "with her" I did what I felt was the only honorable thing to do, I bought my freedom and it was the best money I ever spent.
I hear you. The situation is much more complex than a simple see you later end result. The P4P definitely assists with urges that are desired
yet it was still a very simple decision to make.
Your other choice is to be a liar and a cheater like most of the "hobbyists" here. Is that REALLY what you want to do for the rest of your life? If so, fine. but I like holding my head high, and can't imagine living my life as a lie.
Friends I have had that stayed married because they would have to split everything, so they stay married . . . . and miserable, for the rest of their lives. If a guy is young and there are still minor children at home, then I can see toughing it out until the kids are adults, but after that, I don't get the rationale of "sentencing" yourself to life in prison. Just pay the "fine" and get out of jail.
First of all, because it's not even good for the kids. They know when a household is unhappy. I had two kids the first time I was divorced. My ex and I set our main goal that they not be affected. Of course they were to some degree but it was minor. They got through it fine and are happily married themselves now.
Mindboggling, but true.
I also agree with you that "staying together for the kids" is usually a bullshit and cowardly move by people too scared of moving on to actually get on with their lives separately. There is "always" a reason to put something off by a month, a year or a decade, but sometimes the best thing you can do is to bite the bullet and "do it now" I have absolutely no regrets about recognizing that my marriage needed to end sooner rather than later. I can only imagine how miserable I would be today if I had stayed married to someone I was no longer in love with or wanted to touch.
Even better, they know Dad is a whoremonger. I still recall one of them called me on my birthday while I was in LV. He asked me what I was doing to celebrate and I replied, "Ever heard of Model Mayhem?" He had. I said, 'Well I have a date with two Model Mayhem girls tonight." His reply was, "Go, DAD!"
I love my boys.
The one caveat....If you divorce sometimes the woman will "wimpify" your sons as revenge against you. I have seen single mother's who turn their sons into "male feminists". If you have want your sons to be real men you sometimes have to stick around and be the stealth hobbyist. I think that in this day and age one has to be very careful about allowing your sons to be influenced by the bitter wife. Just my two cents..
just that it did not happen in my case.
Also, I've always liked your handle.
It sort of eliminates the possibility of any kind of manscaping, IMO.
you're a silverback?
Point. You wouldn't be able to without losing your mojo.
I wish I had had your clarity, and your guts, many years ago.
I've heard of where civvie girls are like that is Cleveland, so as long as you live somewhere else, you should be fine. Just keep plugging away (no pun intended).
Whoever informed you is sadly mistaken. I have first hand knowledge of the area and the ladies are just as into sex as anywhere else. SMDH.
LMAO I guess it costs about the same whether it is P4P or straight up dating at least you know what you are in for
Ask anyone who signs alimony checks regularly.
than have the call of duty fuck from her. There is very little real pleasure in fucking someone who really isn't interested but does it out of a duty to the relationship. There are always ups and downs in long term relationships but if the sex life isn't resuscitated, boredom will kill it.
Thankfully, I had the guts to get out of that 2nd marriage.
I was taught by my first provider that I needed to sample more ladies than her. There were two reasons, so I don't get too attached to her and to keep my interest fresh. She was right. Even if I get into a civie relationship now, I make sure to spell out that I am not going to be physically monogamous. If that's not ok, i'm out.
I like myself too much to stay in a any situation where I have to settle for monotony.
I've probably improved my civvie bedroom life more than harmed it. Sure some girls I've been with have wanted to dead fish on me, but almost always they can be convinced otherwise with the right foreplay. There are positions and tricks that I wouldn't have known had I not seen girls who do this professionally.
Also, if we're being honest here, paying for it really has allowed me to bring more sexual confidence into the civvies I've seen, even ones that are a little wild and would have previously been a little intimidating.
So no, I haven't found that paying for it ruins it when I'm getting it for free. That's ridiculous.
If it wasn't for paid fucks, I wouldn't have no fucks at all
That's a generous paraphrase. I like it.
I'm a realist, reality is that I'm not an attractive man, so I've had to settle my entire life. I could get members of the OTHFB club, but I'm just simply not attracted to them. Why bother with subpar anymore.
Now, I have sex with only hot women, I'm paying for it either way, it might as well be with someone I'm attracted to and oh by the way, a woman who does the deeds I like to do. All that, and I don't have to "work" for it, I don't have to play the bullshit dating games, I don't have to pretend that I care about her problems or listen to her jealous bullshit. I get what I want, with who I want, when I want for as long as I want and with only a monetary investment. That's beautiful.
So yeah, providers don't ruin my regular sex life, they replace it completely, dirty deeds done dirt cheap. It's a win/win, I get what I want, they get what they want. What a wonderful arrangement.
I feel like this may becoming an issue for me personally. I am longing for a relationship that is similar to a GFE provider in that you are hoping for certain things to happen during a sexual encounter. Nothing to crazy more like DFK on to some oral for warmup then on to the main event. So when you are in a relationship and 95% of the time you are simply sticking it in and getting it over with as fast as possible does this create an issue based on expectations of something more.
I personally am expecting more than just a quick screw and more and more that is all that is on the table. So am I to just shut up and take it or do I push for those extras that make it a really memorable experience. The desire really comes down to being desired and wanted over just banging someone which is what we all really want in a long term commitment.
Thoughts??
from a person like Jakestatefarm, all he will ever get is nothing but paid sex, there are no real women that would ever like him. How would you expect him to know anything outside
Which is why he spend everyday and second on a hooker board defending hookers from negative comments
Its like I'm attacking his sisters or wife or something.. The guy is what we call a loser
Not to mention you have no clue. Then again, you never do.
You are a sad, angry, ignorant fool.
Providers are my Sex Life. Besides Regular Sex Life or Provider Sex Life = Same Difference.
Im not a bad looking guy, but in my youth, I was unsuccessful financially, which affected my social status and my confidence. The only women that wanted me and desired me were fat trolls, or welfare bitches with two kids from different fathers. My choices have always been lower my standards and settle, or just do something else. There is absolutely no way I could ever desire, or return affection to a woman I cant get sexually excited for, or who I know is a train wreck and therefore a burden on me, so what difference does being desired and wanted make when no one I wanted desired me anyway? The hobby has allowed me to at least have beautiful, model hot girls as opposed to settling for women I didn't want. You can feel alone in a relationship too. Funny thing is now that I'm 45, I've seen many of my buddies that did settle for someone they were never really crazy about just to not be alone, to be wanted, and they are divorced now, lost their house and paying child support.
My buddy just got a divorce because his wifes kid from a previous relationship was jealous of their baby and said she wanted to hurt the baby. That she never wanted her mom to marry my friend and take her mom away from her. She claimed my friend touched her and wham... tore that family apart. My friend moved out that night and sent divorce papers with in 3 days. DONE. My last GF had a 17 year old that was so upset that I was in the house hugging her mom (I wasn't dad) she left to go watch a movie. My girl said her daughter shouldn't feel uncomfortable in her own house and she dumped me because her daughter was not okay with her dating. The hobby is always my fallback and Im certainly happy to have it!
isn't it hard to go back to the mini-van after you've driven the Lamborghini? And sadly the answer is yes. I've never had civie sex anywhere near some of the experiences I've had in the hobby.
Good point! I have had my share of fun very active in my 20's and 30's and had some AMAZING experiences that honestly were much better than any P4P experience. What made them more memorable where the hours spent teasing and working on the final outcome of taking them home and fucking them all night long in every position possible.