Maybe I am too cynical, but are you looking to marry up, or are you playing her for discount sex?
I'm not judging either way, but there are potential smash ups in either direction.
If you get involved, she'll want money to support baby daddy's offspring. And who knows what dynamic she'll continue to have with baby daddy. Maybe she is looking for step-daddy. Maybe she is looking for wallet. Maybe she is looking for love.
You're fishing in dangerous waters.
That you may be getting too close to? And same question for the ladies on stop seeing your clients that you feel you are getting too close to.
yes, first; I attempt to remember that we are p4p, setting boundaries again... but if it happens again.. well it can be another girls problem.
Im not looking for a boyfriend (unpaid) and definitely not a husband.. I am always try to be available for my regulars but some times it gets out of hand, specially when they become demanding like if they are my boyfriend.
It's a lot of EMOTIONAL labor.... if that person text me one or two times between appointments it's fine... but if is all day, every day long... that's an arrangement.
..... and for this exact reason I am implementing a new package on my website (text & calls) between appointments.
-- Modified on 7/31/2017 9:12:51 PM
This is one of the primary reasons I am spending more time with SBs now. I saw a few escorts and had memorable experiences. Then one day I realized everything was on the clock. No replies to my emails just saying hello. No replies to my lunch invites. I respect and understand the value of an escort's time. The notion of paying for social time is not working for me. SBs tend to be more genuine.
way to go for single guys who seek a more normal interaction. For us married guys, the SB world is too much work and an easy way to get divorced. The way I see it, the "pay to leave" aspect of the hobby is well worth the premium for me.
I am married. SB arrangements take effort to find. I live in a small town and have to drive to meet dates for coffee. Escorts became my preferred choice when I went to big cities for work. I am not comfortable with a social rate listed on escort websites, it adds a calculating touch to the connection.
There is a total difference between a escort and a sugar baby. It is pretty much to each there own on this one. I enjoy 100% doing what I do now then being a SB. I felt like I was way taken advantage of from the non-stop text to not understanding my time. I was even upfront and still people took advantage. I feel there are no boundaries in sugaring and it gets way out of hand. Way to much emotional labor.
You're not spending enough money. You wouldn't expect two first class tickets to Paris for spending $500 a month on your credit card would you? Reward points that can be used for OTC time with providers works much the same way. If you spend at a level where the provider would be stupid to ignore you, you will get your OTC time. One provider I know keeps an account of the tips and uses that to calculate OTC time entitlement. It varies from girl to girl.
I appreciate your perspective. True. Money is the bottom line. What is otcs meaning?
OTC = off the clock. It's social time with a provider that you're not paying for.
Were you offering to compensate the escorts for the time spent having lunch with you? If not, you do not "respect and understand the value of an escort's time" at all.
That you may be getting too close to? And same question for the ladies on stop seeing your clients that you feel you are getting too close to.
Also when interacting in a sexual nature, one must keep in mind that it is still a business for the providers. The question is for the providers is when you see the nature and scope of the relationship from the hobbyist point of view change how do you react? This is a very critical question during this juncture in which you see the behavior of the hobbyist change. This is essential because now sense you have seen the metamorphasis of his state of being a provider has to determine if this business relationship could turn into something that is unintended or could it be more harrowing for her as the Pandora's box of possibilities could be something out of a horror movie. This is extremely critical observation and examination of your business and this can happen in much the same way that a Mental Health professional and a client could change once the client misinterprets certain gestures and conversations that the mental health professional would render.
Furthermore this would also be another part of a providers screening practices. The next question you might want to ask a provider especially if she has seen him more than once is his demeanor. Then to follow up with that question is the frequency and nature that he might contact you and the content of questions that he might ask . This conversation would be vital to the verification process and is essential to you identifying those who could be more emotionally dependent on those relationships for something it isn't originally intended to be. Henceforth this could be a good thread for providers because it would and should augment the verification process with these types of questions.
...... patted me on the arse and sent me out to play with other ladies. Just because of that. She could tell that I could fall for her.
I've since learned to fall in love for about 2 hours.
I still saw her until she moved away, bu
It is one of the reasons (but not the main one) that I don't do the same gal twice. We really have no outwardly way of distinguishing their play acting from true feelings. We only know on a logical basis that it's P4P.
and it took me months to find out why. I used to date one of her GF's and I knew almost all of her friends and she finally told me that she just felt "funny" seeing me as a client knowing I was the ex of one of her close friends and that I was good friend with most of her GF's
Ironically enough, she did leave the door open to a "real" date, but I knew I would fuck it all up if I started dating her, so we decided to just be friends.
I stopped seeing a provider because she started getting too close for my comfort. I got the strong sense that she wanted more than a p4p relationship.
into outside girlfriends, so yes, I stopped seeing them as a customer. I was still seeing them as their boyfriend. The difference is when I got home, other than what I spent on the date, I still had the same amount of money in my wallet.
and I got the singes on my wings to prove it.
On the other hand, at least one and probably two gals stopped seeing me on account of the green eyed gazagas I was told. It is such a pity because one of them I really adored. I suppose she probably did me a favor, but still.
I'm with my brother. I saw some numerous times just cuz of that reason. We were comfortable together. Yeah, variety is supposed to be the name of the game here, but when you click with certain ladies I'm all for repeating.
All ya all's can be like Forrest Gump with a box of chocolates. But in my mind if ain't broke, don't fix it...
In the case of my top two providers, No. In fact I kept on and continue to see them. They like spending a lot of OTC time with me. One of them recently admitted to me that she wants to take our friendship to the next level. She was so sincere and sweet when she told me this.
I'm at the incall to get laid. I'm usually happy that I'm getting what I want. Why would I want to stop seeing a women who I love to bang and who gives me what I want with no strings attached? If you're engaged in P4P and you can't just have sex with another person with out getting emotionally attached, you're fishing in the wrong pond.
a better chemistry with than others. You just have to look in the mirror and remember why you are doing what you are doing and let your mind relax. As Aaron Rodgers said, "R E L A X" when the Packers where struggling a few years ago.
...I've had a few gents get too close but we've handled it. Given the approach I take and the kind of people it attracts it's always a potential outcome...
After a late morning meet I suggested lunch. She said great. $1000. I was cured!
I stopped but not because I was getting too close. Before the web, I was very attracted to an escort from an agency - exactly my type - a little mature, ample breast, pretty face, the works. We immediately clicked and after a couple of agency dates she calls me. We went to dinner and it was real. Unfortunately her agency didn't like me being her boyfriend and tried to extort me for her fee doubled for each off the clock date plus a penalty.
I have friends in low places so I put a stop to the extortion and sadly did see her any more. I sure did like her. 😀
I also remember dating an agency girl who at first wanted to hide it from her boss, For the first week or so I would book the last appointment of the evening for a one hour date and then spend the entire night with her, leaving very early in the morning. After about a week of "sneaking around" she just told her boss that I was now her BF and that was that. we never had to sneak around again. I completely understand that most agency owners would not be so supportive of losing a customer as good as me. lol
I just posted about about a regular demanding I find a replacement since I'm leaving the country. Smh.
I don't think he will be a regular anymore
who were at that point. While I'm totally about building lasting and meaningful relationships with the people that I see, its still business. I'd be a pretty terrible business woman If I wasn't concerned about building a repeat client base. There also comes a point where a provider is going beyond the constraints of a p2p situation. I also have no problem with that additional emotional and mental labor, but it also needs to be compensated.
I feel like there are guys/girls out there that expect that much higher level to be free, and thats why they get cut loose to go play with the other fish. On the other hand, if that client was going to move into an alternative arrangement that would warrant an investment like that, I'd be more than happy to do it.
There have been a couple of times where I've stopped seeing a provider because she and I got too close. These ladies were wonderful and if I weren't married, I'd have been very tempted to let the relationship grow but twas not to be. I've also become more skeptical of the feelings that develop under p4p circumstances. We see these ladies in a bubble of lust and satisfaction. We are not dealing with real life issues that invariably plague genuine relationships. The hobby experience is not representative of how you will relate to each other over the long haul.
Just stay in your lane and see her more. Bring her gifts. Make yourself noticed but understand it is what it is.
Just had a session with my new young provider. She told me she wants to be more than friends with me. She invited me to her son's birthday party. Hopefully this leads to something more.
Maybe I am too cynical, but are you looking to marry up, or are you playing her for discount sex?
I'm not judging either way, but there are potential smash ups in either direction.
If you get involved, she'll want money to support baby daddy's offspring. And who knows what dynamic she'll continue to have with baby daddy. Maybe she is looking for step-daddy. Maybe she is looking for wallet. Maybe she is looking for love.
You're fishing in dangerous waters.
Maybe I am too cynical, but are you looking to marry up, or are you playing her for discount sex?
I'm not judging either way, but there are potential smash ups in either direction.
If you get involved, she'll want money to support baby daddy's offspring. And who knows what dynamic she'll continue to have with baby daddy. Maybe she is looking for step-daddy. Maybe she is looking for wallet. Maybe she is looking for love.
You're fishing in dangerous waters.
Or a MFM sandwich with baby daddy.
How new is this new young provider? If less than 10 sessions and she's inviting you that deeply into her RL, I see a train wreck in your future. Hey, if you've been seeing her OTC for months feel free to disregard this comment, but if not, just ask yourself how many civvie single moms would invite a new BF into their kid's life without knowing you're the real deal.
Or a MFM sandwich with baby daddy.
How new is this new young provider? If less than 10 sessions and she's inviting you that deeply into her RL, I see a train wreck in your future. Hey, if you've been seeing her OTC for months feel free to disregard this comment, but if not, just ask yourself how many civvie single moms would invite a new BF into their kid's life without knowing you're the real deal.
I met prince charming. I hate that we click so well but he got so clingy. He felt entitled to special treatment but its my fault because I should have drawn the line way earlier. I had to cut him off when he wanted me to do extreme anal play with me (asking me to step out of my comfort zone) and had the nerve to tell me that he wants it for free.
I'm spending all day this Sunday with her. (her request) I'm starting to think she likes me.
I have fallen into this trap a couple of times with providers that I just LOVE spending time with and would be delighted to spend long periods of time with. It is easy to convince yourself -- if she is good at her job -- that she really likes you, too. And maybe she does, but it is doubtful.
The cure is to read the reviews that are up for the provider and remember that she is doing the same things with you that she is doing with everyone else. I find that dims the enthusiasm for a personal relationship fast, as it reminds me that it is a job for her, pleasure for me.
"remember that she is doing the same things with you that she is doing with everyone else. I find that dims the enthusiasm for a personal relationship fast, as it reminds me that it is a job for her, pleasure for me. "
So, she likes to have fun and gets along with other guys? What's wrong with that? Why wouldn't she? Would it be any different if she dated a couple of civvie guys instead of getting paid for it?
Or are you suggesting she can only have a good time with you?
I would think I rocked their boat, then later read one of their reviews and damn it sounded like the next six guys were me. Funny how similar ALL reviews really are! Eventually I realized I did rock their boat and so did the next guy. Hell have really had a bad BJ?? Not many. Well most pickles fit in the jar, and most jars can hold all different size pickles. Nowadays I fall for them for about 2 hours, have the best time of the day, deposit good stuff in the memory bank and move on. Life is wonderful. Viva la difference!! I am now able to be only in the moment and it's great! Don't overthink it or expect anything more.
STMF
That you may be getting too close to? And same question for the ladies on stop seeing your clients that you feel you are getting too close to.
I have seen many wonderful ladies. Some were very high profile such as the two ladies I met that were in Playboy (one was on a cover and the other had a spread). I have also met several adorable ladies with very nurturing personalities and similar values. But I have never come close to falling for any one of them. Initially, I sought to see different types of ladies at different price points. Whereas now I am focusing more on searching for ladies that I will hopefully want to see on a regular basis. A problem, however, is that it is very easy to have unrealistic expectations based on a lady's internet presence, particularly her website. Her website resonates very well with me, but then I realize afterwards that I was intrigued with the creative marketing and image --- much if not all of which may have been done by somebody else and not necessarily the lady.
Remember that it makes business sense for a provider to entice you to become a regular. They are certainly going to flatter you and do other things to make you think you are special in their eyes.
I have one working on me now in that regard -- she just offered me a slight discount between the flattery messages.
What's humorous is that then they complain about clients falling for them.
Is a difference in letting them turn you into a regular and letting them turn you into their bitch.
happend to be exactly my type, and I liked him instantly. We've seen each other several times since and I continue to like him more and more. My heart flutters whenever I get a text from him.
But because of the financial arrangement, I keep my feelings in check, because to do otherwise feels like I wouldn't be upholding my end of the bargain. I do however think of him often and hearing from him makes me happy. I'd never suggest more as I'd view it as violating the relationship, but if he wanted more, I would pursue it in a heartbeat...
happend to be exactly my type, and I liked him instantly. We've seen each other several times since and I continue to like him more and more. My heart flutters whenever I get a text from him.
But because of the financial arrangement, I keep my feelings in check, because to do otherwise feels like I wouldn't be upholding my end of the bargain. I do however think of him often and hearing from him makes me happy. I'd never suggest more as I'd view it as violating the relationship, but if he wanted more, I would pursue it in a heartbeat...
I'm currently seeing a young provider. Totally gorgeous and an awesome attitude. She told me today that she really likes me. Hopefully this leads to a long term friendship.