TER General Board

Post-SESTA/FOSTA Seeking Arrangements Crackdown
Arden_James 3027 reads
posted

Well, we all knew it was inevitable but heads up — in this SESTA/FOSTA new world order, SeekingArrangements.com is cracking down on any member profiles suspected of escort activity. I should know; my account was just suspended. And, their site and all official email communications now contain several prominent warnings and disclaimers about how escort activity is not welcome there. Clearly covering their asses.

This is a tad concerning because I took special care in trying not to use triggering language in my (approved) profile or private messages. I can only think of one message exchange that may have included vague language, and that was contributed by my gentleman friend and not me. Not sure if his account was suspended too, but I’d love to know. A shame, too, because he seemed like a nice gent, and we’d tentatively arranged coffee for this Thursday and now I’ve lost contact.

Anyway, I share this because I’ve seen talk here of an uptick in interest in or speculation about joining SD/SB sites like SA. Whether you’re a monger or provider, a word to the wise to continue exercising extreme wordsmithing caution.  

And another common sense tip that, in hindsight, I failed to follow quickly enough: As soon as you make a connection via private message on SA that seems promising, *move further communication off their platform ASAP.* (e.g., Kik, burner phone/text app, etc.)

I’m bummed about this but I won’t contest it. Not worth it to me, but it IS worth it to me to pass this info on to all you lovely people here as a PSA of sorts. I’m filing it under ‘Live And Learn.’ Maybe you’ll fie it under ‘Learn From Her Mistakes.’ I’m cool with that. :-)

Related: Now that my Thursday afternoon M&G slot is open, anyone in Seattle want to meet me for coffee? LOL

Also curious if SA accounts for anyone else here have been suspended? My (quasi) mysery would love company for commiserating and comparing notes!

[Please, NO ‘serves you right for obviously not being careful enough’ replies. Just take this for the loving and hopefully helpful PSA that this is.]

— Arden James (Seattle)

they use different names, different computers, etc. because SA could do some sleuthing and find your escort name and website and take action according to that.   They could even do a Google photo search.

 
A lot of dealing with SESTA will involve building firewalls.

Arden_James107 reads

I think it was something along those lines (photo-related), since I did use a different name.

Someone may have recognized you or reverse google image searched your photos, and reported you.  

I don't get the impression, even now, that SA is actually cracking down that much outside of the report feature.

 

Best practice is to use a unique set of photos for SA, and never re-use profile content (verbage/display name) that you've used elsewhere.  

 

You're right to assume that fighting it is pointless, but you can make a new profile with a new email without issue.

souls_harbor97 reads

As a client I got booted a couple months ago for mentioning money. Of course the chick I was talking to took offense and reported me. So you have to watch out for sactimonious do-gooders as well.

John_Laroche94 reads

Huh,... I'm just a lurker on SA and haven't been on for months, but I recall the ladies' profiles generally have an expected allowance listed. Seems incongruous that you'd be kicked off for mentioning $$ unless it's in the context of per-date or per-hour.

 
I'm guessing you low-balled her, otherwise any gal on SA wouldn't take offense, LOL.

GaGambler103 reads

PPM is not only common on SA, but for myself and many others it's the norm, but you can't say that overtly on SA without running the risk of getting the boot.  "Allowances" per week, or per month are perfectly acceptable and can be discussed on the DM system there, but talking about PPM can and will get you kicked off the site if one or both parties cops an attitude.

 
The safe way to have these discussions is to have them "off site" either via phone, text or email. Or you can do what I do and don't ever mention money at all until you meet in person, at least that's what I try to do, some POT SB's will insist on coming to an agreement before any kind of in person meeting, in which case I always  make them "go first" and I refuse to "make an offer". It's kind of like seeing an unreviewed hooker who may be LE, If she asks "what do you want?" you never respond with "You charged me $300, I expect sex". There are MANY ways to get your point across without being unnecessarily overt about it.

 
Lastly, the ladies "expected allowance" is usually a fantasy and not a number to be taken seriously. I have seen a lot of SB who list their expected allowance as high or substantial who were perfectly happy with $300 a date.

souls_harbor95 reads

Technically in her case I was probably within bounds in my mention of money, but once she complained they probably reviewed all my exchanges where I wasn't so careful.  Definitely take ppm mentions off-site.  You can still probably get canned for too many complaints, but in this case they probably had direct proof.

I have learned lots from my provider friends & it never hurts to ask, so I inquired with my fellow providers here & learned quickly.  

- 101 is never use your provider name, or photos.  You create an entirely new person.  SD's do not want to make arrangements with escorts.  Lie.

Sharing is caring, so don't be afraid to ask other provider's for help.  I think the SD sites will be flooded with escorts.  Best of luck to everyone.

GaGambler107 reads

We might have a bit of disagreement as to a "fair" amount of allowance, but many of us welcome the pros and semi pros.

 
That is not really the issue here, the issue is keeping the site alive for all of us to utilize and in the current environment SA would be foolish to not at least put up some tough talk about having a "no hookers/no johns" policy. The very survival of  the site is at stake, and the more hookers and the more johns that join the site and the more attention they draw, the tougher the sites are going to be on this issue.

 
I agree that the SC sites are going to be flooded with escorts, and I welcome you, just don't fuck it up for the rest of us. I have been preaching this for months on The Erotic Highway board. A lot of guys want to start reviewing SB's and sharing SB profiles and otherwise turning SA into a hooker/john board, and this children, this is why we can't have nice things, some dumbass is always breaking them.

 
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE use discretion on the Sugar sites, don't fuck things up for the rest of us. (This is NOT directed at you, or the OP, The OP was careful, apparently just not careful enough)

There always have to be some gawd damn clown in the group that fucks it up for everyone else.  Every stinking time!!!!  LOL.

I had a client recommend SA to me,  I played around for a little bit but did not do much with my profile yet. Might do more if business slows down.  
 I used to be on AM,  I actually got several good clients off that site, until same ass hat got their panties in a bunch and kicked me off for "soliciting".   WHAT?!?  ME?!?   I demanded proof of this said crime and the fumbling customer service rep said "Um, Miss Scarlet, we have some messages that clearly show what you were doing on our site.". Shit .   My bad.  
I am on AFF,  but only got one client off of there.  Seems to be mostly young and/or broke guys that are looking for a free hookup.  And to quote Smartie "No free session from pro".    :)
You want to find me? TER, P411,  my website.  That is most likely what this lady in the middle of WI is going to stick with.  
Xoxo
Scarlet

Arden_James101 reads

....and I felt awful about my unwitting role in potentially leading to the nice shiny things being taken away. I totally get the predicament. We’re all learning quickly and on a steep curve, and it may just outpace me.

And to my sister provider’s point by titling her reply ‘P.O. Forum,’ if only I could glean the wisdom from my sisters there. I don’t qualify to join yet due to lack of reviews. I’ve done this for quite some time, building up a fairly thriving business locally, organically, and IRL both in my town and touring. Only started to delve into building an online presence and plan a few months ago. Terrible timing.  

I know I could offer up my own words of wisdom to that forum too. Alas, it doesn’t seem meant to be. I wish there was another way to gain entrance into that hallowed hall, perhaps with simple vouches/okays similar to another site we know and love. I could always suggest it to TER but unlikely I’d ever get a response.

GaGambler127 reads

Much more so than RO, it's the women who can't gain access to PO who could benefit from it the most.  It forces providers without enough reviews or "board presence" to ask their questions on the Newbie Board where oftentimes they are given horrible advice by well meaning johns, but clueless johns who have no idea what things are like from the provider POV.

 
That said, i think your OP was a much needed PSA, as more and more hookers and johns look for new venues what happened to you is going to be repeated over and over again. I think the guys are more clueless than the girls, I constantly see guys posting that they want to see "reviews" of the POT SB's which is a HORRIBLE idea. I know I get accused of being "unnecessarily rude" at times, but some rudeness is most definitely necessary as a lot of people don't respond to anything more subtle than a 2x4 across the noggin. lol

 
Sorry you got kicked off SA, but hopefully your post will help others.

Its not as popular as SA but it works.  Found quite a few non pro SB's there on Long Island.

Last time I was signed onto the SA site, I saw a young lady who has advertised on BP for years.  Same photos as her BP ad and profile reads pretty much like her old ad.  First time in months she was on the site.  So that haven't rounded her up yet.

I hope they aren't scanning all messages, as I feel when I first went on that site, some of my messages included the allowance amount.
I have switched to moving out to discuss details using text/email as soon as possible.
I've found most ladies who know what the actual sugar baby duties are more than willing to discuss off-site.

I was on another site, sexyjobs, and I thought since it was for adult industry work, it would be safe.
I got booted after an actress asked me what the rate was.

If I were to create another profile, I'll probably not state it's for a private collections.
I think that's why I got kicked, since my last message had mentioned it was not going to be distributed.

Easy to do, and there's all kinds of text search/analytics functions available to find just about anything they want to find.

And that's not specific to SA.

souls_harbor104 reads

They might scan all now.  Before probably only on complaint.  I can't imagine they wanted to chase away actual ppm -- just the visibility of it.  There's a lot of dollars to be made supporting ppm arrangements.  As long as they can do it with "clean hands."

Arden_James96 reads

....the most bizarre thing ever but it apparently my SA account has been restored! I think it’s probably a temporary glitch but we’ll see. No earthly idea what’s going on here but if i’m back in, then you can bet your sweet ass (SA, get it? Haha) I’ll be Little Miss Discretion from here on out.

Shit, these are some strange days we live in.

Well now your Thursday is complete! Enjoy your coffee date and whatever else you may choose to enjoy after:)

Arden_James99 reads

I’m now nervous this could be a setup. So paranoid. Crazy days.

imanalias92 reads

Oh wait, yes, it’s a setup LoL close the account now LoL  

I’m joking, be happy, yes be Miss Discrete  

These are strange times.

I had the same thing happen to me and was too wrecked out about it all and deleted it completely. Maybe following our gut instincts isn't always such a bad thing.  Guess we will see sooner or later ! lol

I had my account temporarily suspended a few months ago. I sent a very innocent message to a POT SB and instantly got a message from SA sayingmy account was suspended. They also said they would be review my account in 48 hours and restore it if there were no issues. Not sure if it was the message I sent or if someone complained. But they did reinstate my account and I have had no issues since.

Arden_James101 reads

Oh good lord, life is so much stranger than fiction!  

My account was also reinstated this afternoon. No mention of reviewing in 48 hours.  

Now here’s the truly odd part.....or not?

This afternoon I received a flood of four requests to strike up local simple monthly arrangements. Methinks that these gentlemen may also be on TER and took a chance. I don’t know. I’ll ask them once we meet. I mean, what are the odds?

Strangest form of advertising that I’ll likely ever benefit from. And you can bet your bottom dollar that the very first thing I did is move our convos off SA. And I also immediately screen shot our intro convos with their contact info.

SMH. What a day.

Why would anyone think they can’t sign up under a new alias. Or do we all know it’s possible. And I’m pretty sure SA knows that too.

Stephanie S

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