I’ve been wondering about something that happens to me on 95% of my dates with providers.  They at some point ask me if I’m married. I always find this strange given the nature of the hobby.  

FOR THE PROVIDERS: Is there a reason for the question? While I almost always click with my dates, I always find the question awkward. I am left wondering if they want to marry me (hard to believe), want to blackmail me, or are they trying to make conversation? I don’t understand it.  

FOR THE MONGERS: Is this just me? Or are you always being asked if you are married? What do you make of it?

Thanks

...to fall in love with providers.  That's one less problem they have to deal with.

 
Also, if you're married they think you're "safe."  If another woman has married you and has been living with you, then you're probably not a serial killer (although a few serial killers have been married and led seemingly normal lives).  OTOH, single guys are more likely to be stalkers.

 
Or maybe you just have that henpecked look of a guy who's been nagged by a shrew of a wife for twenty years.  

I imagine they are curious.  I actually don't mind questions like that.  I actually think they feel more comfortable with married guys (even if they might look down on it) for the same reason companies used to prefer to hire married guys ... marriage demonstrates some small measure of character stability.
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But mainly I think they are just curious.  It's also something to chit chat about.
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That said I don't actually recall being asked about it.  But I don't tend to remember chit chat.

there seem to be some consistent patterns.  Blackmail has never entered my mind, but I think there are three legit reasons to ask. . . . .

1.   To assess your spending potential.   Typically, single guys have more freedom to spend time with a provider and can usually do longer sessions, overnights and travel if they have the financial depth.  There are married guys that do this stuff too, so there are always exceptions.  OTOH, many married guys have more limited budgets because its sometimes hard to hide money from the wife.  

 
2.  If you're married, many providers assume (often wrongly) that SOME of your sexual needs are being fulfilled by your wife.  Single guys, all else being equal, will usually hobby more often than married guys unless they have an SO at the time.  If you are single, they  may be sizing you up for an arrangement of some type, i.e. Sugar-dad, where they rely on a set monthly stipend.  There are many married guys who play in the sugar bowl, too, but again, scheduling is often an issue for married guys that limits the amount of time they can spend with a SB.  

 
3.  Older providers are often thinking about retirement, which requires an exit strategy.   If they think you can afford them full time, then yes, they may be sizing you up for long-term (marriage?) potential.  

 
Unless you are bottom-feeding with low-end hookers, I don't think you need to assume there is anything nefarious going on.  They are just "qualifying" you the way any salesperson would to assess how much you might be food for.  Along with the marriage question, they will usually ask about your profession, whether you have a girlfriend, children, etc.  They all have a bearing on how much they  think they can count on in the future from your  patronage, assuming you will repeat.  

for all the cases you suggested and all the ones you didn't think about.

That doesn't mean that the ones asking you are looking to blackmail you.

In my case I have near certain views that they are asking to make some conversation and just out of interest (without any judgement or personal interests) or because they find me attractive and interesting enough to perhaps think about some type of RL relationship.

Don't make too much of it and certainly feel free to answer in any way you wish -- the time spent, at least initially, is all about creating the image of intimacy and/or passion. 100% honesty is not required or even expected (and often really not wanted).

It's exactly what I would have said. Short and to the point. Very well said

I try not to read much into it. Just a piece of conversation...  
if anything married people may be less risky because they have more to lose than a single guy, ceteris paribus.

mutatis mutandis

Interesting question because I’ve always wondered why men always ask me my age. I look a certain age so why ask for the exact number? My conclusion, they’ve just run out of topics of conversation. I was taught a gentleman never asks a lady her age and I guess being behind closed doors a lady shouldn’t make certain inquiries regarding a gentleman she’s keeping company with. Moral of the story, as time marches on acceptable norms change. Live and let live !

Agree that too!

....so what's one more? :P

...Veni, vidi, Vici!

-- Modified on 4/20/2020 6:44:25 AM

find it interesting that they ask.  I am almost always asked.  It does not bother me but it does strike me as odd, I never ask a personal question of a provider and quite often you will see a provider on here complain about guys asking personal questions.  It is interesting to me that they would ask a question that they themselves would not want to be asked.  I'm always tempted to say no I'm not married, how about you?, but I never do

They don't have to ask.   They understand why I came to see them, I'm there for some strange.

I don't ask escorts any personal questions.  But some of them volunteer info.  Some tell me their marital status, some tell me their age, or that they have a boyfriend.  But most don't reveal too much.  

Providers are more likely to say, “You are married, right?” I don’t know what to make of it or given it much thought.  Maybe I have an air of sexual desperation typically found with married men.  😳

I can only speak for myself, but have read this situation many times on this site.  

Once my wife hit menopause, that was it....game over.  Really pissed me off.  No conversation, nothing.  

Plus she never wanted to receive or give oral.  Thought it was "dirty".  I decided I was not going to leave this earth without a good blow job.  Today, I am proud to have had many a good blow job....and more.

I have personally experienced this with several dozen older providers.  Just because YOU are not interested in a clean exit with a guy who can afford to give you a luxury lifestyle, it doesn't mean others wouldn't consider it or aggressively  pursue it.  

 
Kudos to you for being "mature" and wanting to stay in the game until the Social Security benefits kick in.

Because we have already become accustomed to familiarity.  Lol!

young, hot providers that know this is a difficult biz to grow old in.  (Only a small percentage, some of whom are here, manage it successfully).  You realize these are your prime earning years in this biz, but you also know that you can't wait until you're menopause age to land the kind of guy that can provide you the lifestyle you want.  You want a guy that can take you shopping and never has to look at the price.  If you want it, you get it.  In return, you will make sure he never desires another woman.  That's a happily ever after in my book.   Is that pretty much the game plan?   Lol

I get asked this question, now that I read about it, just about everytime too. Never really worried about it or thought anything from it. I give a different response based on my read of the ASP. If you enjoyed your time, you will visit again, but many no desire for another visit. Usually they will tell me they are looking for regular, repeat clients.

I WON'T ask a provider is, "Did you just fart?"  I already know the answer, so why embarrass her?

They don't want your pig of a wife to go chase them down and kill them!

Seriously. It's none of their fucking business unless you want it to be.

If you're one of those whiny fuckers that bitch and moan how your old lady doesn't fuck you anymore, blah, fucking blah, stick your dick in their mouth.  

Done

You're paying for their time. Whether you get nekkid or not you're on the clock.  

Bust your nut and get the fuck out...

I'll admit  I was friends with some cuz I'm a cool guy. But if you have to ask, yeah....  

a client if he is married. It is none of my business.  
Many clients share on their own that they are married and quite a bit of times discuss issues they are experiencing in their marriage. Not sure why you are being asked this more often than not.Maybe they are just making small talk.
Funny I do not ask gents about their dating/married life but I have had quite a bit of clients ask about mine.

I don't ask about an escort's private life, but I am curious, and I think society in general is curious.  Some people have weaker filters, so I am sure they just blurt out questions like that.

That is a good policy.  Oftentimes, THEY are married, but their dick isn't, and they're not sure how to explain it.  

Jaydalee I can give a damn if you're married or not. Just as long as I can pretend you and I are for the night right now! And not like the 20 year deal when saying 'fuck you!' passing by each other constitutes foreplay...!

I agree with the "exit strategy" idea. This question is asked by almost every massage parlor girl for obviously the same reason.

Shallow pig that I am, I am much more concerned with how old a woman LOOKS, more than I am concerned with when she was born.

 
It is a bit ironic that I started dating a Thai girl several years back, she advertised herself as 26 (like they all do) but honestly she looked so young, I really thought she was much younger than that, so much so I was really wondering if she might be too young to actually get involved with. One day I came out and asked her just how old she was, she didn't give me an actual answer at first, but she asked me if I knew how old a mutual friend of ours was, (she was 35) and then she told me she was "older" than her. It turns out she was 38, but she honest to god looked no more than about 22. Funny thing was, I was more than happy to find out her real age as I was "only" about 20 years older than her instead of 40 years older. lol

 
I think most of the time people will "date" themselves in conversation. Someone 60 will remember life with three tv channels. Someone fifty will remember life before cable. Someone forty "might" remember life before the internet, etc etc etc. lol

Life before the internet?
Oh yeah....when I used to get laid for free.

MyaMichelle, that's been my experience also a couple of times: being asked at the end of the session as to whether or not I have a wife.
I've had the provider asking me after we've fucked or once I've taken my exit shower and I'm getting dressed, you know, the outbound smalltalk portion.  
It always catches me by surprise, because I haven't taken off my wedding band for over 17 years. What kind of observation powers do some of these women have that they spend an hour or two with me before focusing on the ring finger? Lol. I thought the average woman zeros in on that finger within the first 10 seconds of being close enough to a man to see it.
One provider years ago had a really strange reaction. She was cheerful and friendly the whole time I was there, we talked before any action started and got to know a little bit about each other, we showered together playing with each other, she had sucked my dick, I had eaten her pussy, we screwed each other silly, everything was fine. Or so I thought.
As I was leaving, I looked around the room to make sure I wasn't forgetting anything, I did the self pat-down and verbal checklist. Wallet, keychain, comb, . . . she saw my wedding band, apparently for the first time. She asked, I answered, her entire mood changed. Since I was 10 seconds from stepping out the door anyway, it wasn't going to get deep, but I tried asking her what was wrong, she told me to just leave, her face sour and twisted.  The only thing it could have been was the ring, so I asked her if my being married was a problem for her.  She wasn't a spring chicken nor new to the game, so I was lost.
"You can't tell me you've never had married men as clients before, is that it?" I asked her.
She said, "I have, but most have the decency to take off their rings when they're with me." she glared at me.
What. The. Hell?
"Lady, I have had this on during the whole hour, if you didn't see it, that's not my fault. And ring or no ring, married or not married, we both know why I'm here, and we both know why you're here."
She was pushing the door closed and I didn't have the desire nor the time to figure her out, so I just left and chalked it up in my mind as a loose screw somehow. To this day I have never understood it. I think she beloved I took my ring off pre-date and put it back on when I got dressed, neither of which happened, but even if they had, what difference did it make to her?
Well, at least the pussy was good.

BriannaM, I take the gentleman's angle on this.  
I don't outright ask providers their ages, but I prefer older women (MUCH older) over younger ones, and I understand that this game is chocked full of a majority of men wanting as young as humanly and as legally possible, I know some women have a tendency to downplay their calendars and use fuzzy math when giving their "approximate" ages.

To difuse the assumed need to give me a protracted or prorated answer, on the initial contact seeking more information, I will sometimes specify my preference for an older woman, I tell her how old I am and assure  her that I don't want anyone my children's age.  I'll say I'm not asking her to tell me her exact age, but just a general idea, and I'll use terms such as "the older the better" or "if you're in you mid or late 40s, perfect".  My mongering takes place in Tijuana, so in Spanish I use the terms "madura", which means mature, or an older woman, or "madurita", which is a softer or cuter way to say the same thing. This overall approach gets me such wonderful responses from women who are relieved to find out that they're being sought especially for who they are, and  
 they often reveal to me on their own what their actual ages are.

In flagrante delicto

 
(... because Lester did it first.) :p  

 
Life is good

 
The Cat

Typo, last paragraph:

 I think she believed I took my ring off pre-date

When providers ask if I am married I tell them that my wife passed away in the past year.

They seem to be more affectionate with more hugging and DFK and ask "is there anything that your wife did that can do?"

To which I say "BBBJ" After she starts I then say "with CIMSW".  

Most realize that it is a joke - some redouble their effort.