The slip-on wrapper would have a clever brain-teaser riddle printed on it, to help educate the caffeine addicted about geography, as they dilate their blood vessels with a morning diarrhetic.  But in the case of Bar(eb)ack, I believe the cup is half full, not half empty.

I beg all of you to reconsider Bar(eb)ack as your President.  All of the bad things you know about him, and will learn in the future, are his black side.  But he is also half white and therefore half good too.  That is the side that is well spoken and well dressed.  That is the side that tows his party's line 100% and navigates machine politics without a compass.  That's the side that can count the zeros after the dollar sign and is paranoid about potential enemies that are out to slander him, like all those 527 groups messin' with his pristine image right now.  They made be invisible, but they are there peering into his soul.  

He also has white man ears.  I've heard his "economic stimulus package" is black though, as not all things black are bad.

As a consolation to the ladies that supported Hilary, Bar(eb)ack's wife is nearly equal height to him whenever they are together in public.  That has got to put an extra spring in the step of those pantsuited babes downtown as the walk to work in their Nike knock-offs with their heels in the Vuitton knock-off.  You go girls!  I won't go into the other reasons females should consider Bar(eb)ack, but if you have seen any of Shane Diesel's adult films, you already have an inkling.

Bar(eb)ack is not the kind of black guy that plays his n-wrod rap too loud or sits on the sidewalk begging for change.  That kind of "change" those guys want is free money.  I tried donating to them once and I did not even get a cbj.  Like the holocaust, never again.

My only regret is the couple of bucks I contributed to the Presidential election on my tax returns will not be going to Bar(eb)ack.  They will be going to an old white man with a small(er) penis.  That's not the America I know.  That's like buying a frothy mint mocha Frappuccino with whip and getting a shot of room temperature Milk of Magnesia.  And knowing the VC soaked their feet in it.  

I'm going on a Dunkin' Donuts run.  Anybody want anything?