Do you as a gentlemen who is booing a BDSM appointment always share your desired interests prior to booking? I have had way to many men book me, and wait until the session to tell me their true desires. Don't be this guy. Providers need to be prepared in advance to accommodate special requests. Don't expect her to read your mind & have all the tools needed. PSA your welcome. lol Smile 4 me!
I am here to help my TER friends.There is the general advice not to be specific about sex acts before meeting, due to LE concerns. So being explicit like that runs counter to the accepted wisdom.
When I see a provider that offers BDSM I usually get her e mail address to send her a list of things I like and dislike. This after she has verified me as not LE.
Definitely prefer to discuss prior to meeting to be sure she's comfortable with my desires
I am a lifestyle player & PRO Domina, so this is my life. BDSM is not illegal unless it is unwilling & harmful. I am in SoCAL. The laws a different in every state. I suggest you read up on & gain knowledge of the BDSM community. I have life-long loyal submissive people who are devoted to me. I can not accommodate any special request without being prepared, so honesty is a must & vocabulary means everything. Lingo to look for...donation, tribute, contribution these are acceptable terms. Fee, charge, price are not words I use when booking a date.
I'm sure some aspects of BDSM are legal, more so if there isn't money exchanged per se. But I have trouble believing there is a BDSM exception to the prostitution laws.
My preference is to point out which of her interest I like or might like. Then explore them all over multiple sessions. Talk a little afterwards about what was exciting.
I prefer to be surprised. Just not with something not choosen from her likes. Say for example she likes branding and I didn't say I shared that interest. As we get more comfortable I would inquire about thing I might like to try that weren't on her list.
Some might not do nude queening for new customers but be open to it after many sessions. Some will never do it and that's ok. Communicating is key.
One way I have found to discretely communicate interest is to send links to a few videos to her. Quite a few but not all BDSM providers seem to like that - its just a conversation starter for when we do meet in person. That was not my idea to begin with, at least three Pro Dommes have asked me what I am looking at on line
But be respectful some may not want even that littlw bit of communication up front
I have a list. While it's difficult to avoid being explicit with some of it, it is mostly general in nature but it is also specific enough to both give someone a good idea of the playing field and yet allow room for creativity.